The Domestic Marine Inc
The Domestic Marine Inc
Never before and never again; there is only one "Domestic Marine."

Book Snippets

"The Domestic Marine"

Never before and never again; there is only one "Domestic Marine"



Author: Richard Jon Hassey
The Domestic Marine Inc.



Chapter 1  Early Childhood

– My earliest childhood memory ever recalled in my life –

(Head-start program)

I was a year younger than the other kids so not eligible for enrollment in the head-start program for one more year but my mother worked there so she would just bring me along with her to work. . . .

One day, walked into the classroom and found large white balloons covering the ceiling and some coming down the walls (Helium balloons). All of the balloons were white but there was one single larger balloon that was black. One of the teachers said does anyone know who's getting the black balloon? It's for someone special.

Think that she was probably trying to make me feel special or welcome but in essence what happened was, I felt out of place, like I didn't fit in or didn't belong to the group.

. . . [Furthermore, in later years my mother enrolled my oldest brother who is seven years older than I into the big brother program and while my oldest brother was spending time with his big brother, I was not. In addition, when my brother's big brother withdrew himself from the program due to difficulties with the relationship, I assumed his role but was more of a father to my big brother than a big brother to him].

With most children, suspect, life starts out in wonder, curiosity and a sense of fair play, that is, until the social interactions with others begins.

As mentioned, my mother worked at the pre-K head-start program so prior to kindergarten, attended the head-start program twice.

Even from this early age, the best way to describe my life was always one of looking into a window from outside a building as an outsider. Never quite fit in anywhere throughout my life and looking back it would seem that this also applied even as early as pre-K.

Recognize now why this has always been the case? Have coined a few of my own words and phrases throughout the years and here is one of them: "Personal evolution."

Today, some may call it personal growth but there is a difference between the two phrases. Let me explain:

Personal growth is something that would hope that everyone strives to achieve. Generally speaking, personal growth is a deliberate undertaking that involves a learning process (Nurture).

However, personal evolution is situational or environmental (Nature). One will not experience personal growth without putting forth some kind of deliberate effort to achieve the desired result but one has no choice in the matter of personal evolution.

One example, when responsibility is thrust upon a child before that level of responsibility is appropriate for the child to accept ("Sink" or "swim").

Some children can acclimate to the responsibility "swim" and some "sink." The children that "swim" are forced into personal evolution. Their personal growth evolves necessarily.

The reason that I was able to withstand so much personal evolution at such a young age was due to my faith.

Had no one to turn to ever as a child so turned to my faith whenever put into a situation that was inappropriate for a young child to be exposed.

In summary, throughout my life, it wasn't that I didn't fit in anywhere; it was that I had already evolved beyond the situations that I was subject.

Looking back on my early childhood it's quite easy to see now that as early as pre-K, was put into situations that demanded responsibility.

With that, My mother is divorced, since I was three years old, so didn’t really know my father . . . sibling rivalries; common place, dysfunctions in family structure develop and notice that my mother is telling me about her day more so then she is telling my brothers and sisters. –I’m the youngest boy of three and have three sisters, one a year younger.

. . . Believe that this dysfunction is what lead to reading books . . . read a little pocket bible in bed and later started reading a book about electronics from one of my uncles.

. . . Remember trying to figure out the color codes on resisters. These are some of my earliest memories but prior to this time, as just mentioned, do have memories of head-start, kindergarten and elementary school.

In the fifth grade, will never forget, the home room teacher burst into the classroom shouting: "It's your fault that Miss. B died because you gave her such a hard time in class." Coincidentally or not, she looked right at me when she said it! --Joked around in music class more than anyone else because what was being taught seemed to be ridiculous to me.

Have two points to be made here, one, the home room teacher scarred a lot of children for life with her totally unacceptable emotional rant of nonsense and two, much subject matter taught in pre-K to post secondary education is based on antiquated systems that have been passed down generation after generation that can hardly be interpreted by anyone but like-minded individuals.

Just because someone simply doesn't think like Bach or Beethoven doesn't mean that they are not intelligent or can't design their own music system that makes more sense to the majority of people.

Along the same lines as when Microsoft™ first decided to make IBM's™ Disk Operating System (DOS™) easier to use once the mouse was on the horizon and the list of commands became too long for people to remember so with Windows™ and a mouse wouldn't have to remember and type cryptic commands at a command prompt; just run a command or MACRO from a menu system with the click of a mouse.

While attending the Edison Community College Collier Branch in Naples, Florida back in the 1980's, met the guys that invented the mouse.

Point being, backwards compatibility of Microsoft's™ Windows™ Operating Systems led too less than elegant products. Microsoft™ should have started over with scratch long ago but we are all forced to learn the system that is in place as inefficient as it has become. There must be a better way!

During physics class, in 2001, often wondered how bright a person to describe the creation of our universe with such eloquent a theory as "The Big Bang Theory?" Genius? Not to mention, "Dark Matter!" Brilliant?

We are all forced with learning the world around us as described by "others!" –Like-minded individuals! Well, I'm hoping to keep you drawn into an intense and engaging reading experience because I'm redefining myself on my own terms for a change and would like to help you do the same! You won't want to miss it, keep reading!

. . . Some later memories were of my teddy bears. –Not sure where the one that use too “beat-up” came from but the other one, I'll never forget, the grandma, on my mother’s side. The reason that I’ll never forget this teddy bear is because my brother grabbed it from me one night and said: "You’re too old for this now” and he threw it into our coal furnace . . . immediately started crying! Incidentally, we were the only ones on the street who still had a coal furnace.

Shortly after running up stairs my brother followed; asked him, “could we go get the teddy bear out of the furnace? . . . ..if there are any burnt spots on him, we could cut them off with a pair of scissors.”

When we went back down to the cellar and he opened the coal furnace door, all that I saw was the silhouette of my teddy bear that my grandma gave me in ashes . . . ran back upstairs crying again. . . . ..cried for several days afterward. (Not at the time but now realize that it was the link to my grandma, not the loss of the teddy bear that was upsetting to me). –My grandma died of breast cancer in the early nineteen seventies.

. . . ..after losing the teddy bear, started having nightmares and running down stairs after midnight in a panic. These nightmares went on for years and were of my grandma. Never told anyone about these events. (These nightmares, . . . my subconscious reconnects with my grandma in replace of the teddy bear).

This is the moment in my life, after suffering this loss, and, realizing how much pain that loss can cause and recognizing how much that I was depended on, that I developed a keen and exceptional sense of humor and subconsciously vowed to be the one that everyone could depend on to prevent or ease this type of pain.

My Teddy bear was the first “lose” that I suffered in my life; as symbolic as it was, it was real to me, subconsciously! –This is when truly lost my grandma within me!

 Compounding things even more was the fact that was in a single parent home and bonding with my grandfather had already occurred (mature mentality) prior to my grandma’s death. My mother continued to rely on me more and more for emotional support.

Additionally, due to the fact that my brothers were heading down the wrong rebellious path, for typical broken home reasons, my mother made me her “pet project” to make sure of . . . not going down the same path brothers chose.

My mother focused on raising me as the type of man that she expected of me but her upbringing was dysfunctional too. What were my mother’s expectations for raising the perfect man?

Looking back on some of the events in my early childhood now, it seemed that had a relatively tough time of it but back then it seemed normal.

. . . ..some neighborhood friends that spent a lot of time with . . . liked to play football with them especially.

One of my friends was a “Tomboy” and I have to confess that she was my first true love. True, in the sense, the love was real for me and as it was developing honestly believe that she developed the same for me.

My memories are clear on this matter and lead me to take a “pause” now to explain some thoughts, feelings and emotions, again, for the reader’s sake:

My friends and I spent much time together as children before graduating from high school together . . . can’t mention every encounter or this book would be too long.

There was a significant moment between me and my first love however. While playing outside and falling down together, she landed on top of me. She would not get up for an awkward amount of time and when she did, my other friends even asked, “what was that all about?”

This is when she and my relationship changed. She began to pull away from me anytime that I would begin to get close to her, symbolically, physically, or emotionally

. . . believe that this event embarrassed her and she was hurt that I didn’t respond in some way.

Have to remember that we were very young children at this time and I did not have a father to go to with my issues. After mentioning this event to my mother, she dismissed my feelings. My mother did not believe that anyone was good enough for her “pet project.”

Also, believe that my mother, in a way, she felt threatened by any potential relationships that I might develop with others because she needed me all to herself.

These events lead to a complex problem and back to explore my previous statement: “What were my mother’s expectations for raising the perfect man?” What was the perfect man in her eyes?

It turns out that it was her father! In her attempts to mold me into her expectations of the perfect man, she shaped me into her father! The bonding with my grandpa that mentioned earlier made my mother’s job that much easier.

Remember that at this time my mother was not even aware of what was occurring. My relationship that was developed with the entire family was that of a “father figure.” –But, one of my sisters resisted this subconscious relationship because she was bitter toward our mother.

These relationship dynamics in the household compounded my relationship dynamics outside the household, as does the dynamics within others' households similarly do.

In addition, throwing racism, bigotry, nationality, ethnicity, religion, hatred, stereotyping, wealth, poverty, appearance and social status among many other social issues into the mix is a social experiment setup for failure from the start . . . as was another social experiment that I unwittingly participated in after graduating from high school and having the course of my life changed forever; that is, until “taking my life back” relatively shortly before writing of this book.

Carrying this subconscious “father figure” mentality with me outside the home, (. . . and although had no relationship with my father [he was, to my understanding], half German and half Irish while my mother claimed to be full-blooded Slovak from what is now referred to as the Republic of Slovakia) . . . (My mother’s mother was most likely Russian but just as many did not claim to be Jewish during the World Wars, many did not claim to be Russian during the Cold War) solely based on my last name, defined an Irishman growing up.

That’s not all, however, bad enough that definition was, I was also from a poor dysfunctional family with brothers that cut a path for me to a dead end.

Therefore, when my first love fell on top of me, not responding appropriately, adding to her embarrassment and slightly hurting her compounded with the social issues already mentioned, she dismissed her feelings as easily as my mother dismissed mine.

Furthermore, because my friend had an abusive father and poor male role models in her life she chose not to get close to me and pulled away from me anytime that I started getting too close because she was already “damaged” by the men in her life. She was as accepting of my subconscious “father figure” mentality as my own family was. She needed a “father figure” in her life as well.

For a significant number of girls and women, once they are hurt by a boy or a man, they bury their thoughts, feelings and emotions so as too never surface again and go through the rest of their lives “damaged,” unfeeling toward another man. This circumstance also makes the so called “bad boys” more appealing to them for relationships because the girls and women can suppress their feelings more easily with these types.

These women take on the pathology that they have to hurt the man first before the man hurts them and this is how these women conduct their lives . . . a toss into the mix an “Irishman” who is/are known for being emotional and there is no quicker end to a caring, feeling, emotional and passion full relationship with some women.

This is also why the Italians typically don’t get along with the Irish because a typical Irishman is emotional and just like many others the Italians don’t like to address feelings sometimes; they rather have fun.

However, no day gone by in this “Irishmen's” life that every single thought, feeling and emotion that he has encountered hasn't been addressed and dealt with appropriately and mental anguish which can be a major issue in later life is not of the slightest concern for this “Irishman.”

The older one gets the more they will realize that those life long suppressed memories, thoughts, feelings and emotions will be a major problem for them and ironically that’s when an “Irishman” is needed in their lives the most!

My assumed responsibilities to the family continued to grow along with my newly self-imposed keen and exceptional sense of humor.

When entering my teen years, my older brothers were no longer living at home and it seemed that now in addition to my subconscious “father figure” mentality that I really was the “man of the house.”

Had school work to complete and participated in sports and school activities such as the chess club . . . tried to repair a car that I bought and gave to my mother and rewired [Electrical] her entire house from top to bottom.

--Interestingly, after making it to the finals in the chess tournament, my opponent and his supervising brother were collaborating together making sure winning.--

It was easy enough to recognize their tactics when they decided to write down each move that was made and then hand the paper back and forth to each other. --The older brother giving the next move to his younger brother.

Instead of calling them on their motives, just played along but decided to not even pay attention to the moves and present them with the most absurd move that could be made each time that it was my turn. –Had to see the squirming? . . . They didn’t start to relax until they saw that they had the game won. --Of course, they could not have allowed me too win.

My teen years were progressing rapidly and what to do after graduation was more and more on my mind. . . . Had always known that college was the best option for me but how was it to be paid for was the question in my mind constantly.

Other parents were on welfare and welfare paid for their child’s college but my mother had just become employed down at a steel mill and she had six children. --Seemed to me like I was being punished for my mother working.

My decision was to go into the service after hearing about the Veteran’s Educational Assistance Program (VEAP).

The course of my life was about to change forever!”

Until the year 2017.

Let’s begin:

Thought this was a good place for one of my poems:

God gave us boundaries so that we may make choices. When a person chooses to close their mind or heart or soul then nothing gets in but evil knows no boundary. When one opens their mind and heart and soul then they are filled with no room for evil. Choose to open yourself and one will no longer have to choose to love; love will no longer be a choice.”

Coming soon to bookstores.


Copyright © 2017, 2018 Richard Hassey. No part of this document or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of Richard Jon Hassey. 


"The Domestic Marine" final Sub Chapter 00 -- Run To Me ends with a final Scratch-off lottery poem", everyone's a winner!


The Domestic Marine Inc.


Sub Chapter 1 – "Corps" Emotions Combined with The Tomboy

In preparation for Chapter 2 – Online Encounter, with my Tomboy childhood first love, it's necessary to quote some information previously presented online and there may be some overlap contained within the following two sub chapters.

In the summer of 2017, wrote and posted the following statements to my book(s) snippet's website:

"Several years ago, discovered and resolved my emotional issues with my Tomboy childhood friend and that’s when my thoughts were more focused on starting to put 'pen to paper' on the writing of my book."

"Quite unexpectedly! I was contacted recently by my Tomboy childhood friend on social media while attempting to find a market for my products and services?"

". . . ..but want my Tomboy friend to know that these emotions, all though have been real, is not an obsession and has been resolved within myself."

"There will always be a special place in my heart for my Tomboy friend and did recently take inappropriate advantage of an opportunity to reestablish a more personal connection on social media after finding out that she was recently divorced (Only because did not know if the opportunity would ever come again in this virtual world that some are trying to create for us that I’m resisting whole heartedly!)"

"My unfair advantage was that I was hurt more in my life by women than my Tomboy friend was hurt by men. Had more experience at being hurt than she did? It's sad that this is the competition between men and women today. Where are relationships headed for the Millennial's?"

The quoted statements that you just read above are absolutely true with one exception:

"Several years ago, discovered and resolved my emotional issues with my Tomboy childhood friend."

Although, had finally discovered and resolved my emotional issues with the "Corps" by this time, did not fully resolve all of my emotional issues with my Tomboy childhood friend.

The reason that it became necessary to state that there were no further unresolved emotional issues with my Tomboy friend was because of my planed trip to Ohio in August of 2017.

Let me repeat, reemphasize and explain:

"For more than 30 years now been resolving my emotional issues, figuratively speaking, one at a time!"

"Might suspect that after events in my life described, in my books, that must have been confronted with serious emotional issues? Sure! –That’s where my exceptional sense of humor comes from!"

"However, recently coined the phrase: 'I Have intelligent feelings!' Also, a little luck!”

"I’ve been keeping my life in perspective for more than 30 years now and holding onto all emotions because to resolve older unresolved emotions one generally has to work backwards. In other words, resolve current emotional issues and then go a further back to the next unresolved issue."

"I’ve always been able to work backwards through my life and my personal issues successfully; however, always stopped this process at age 19 when entering the Marine Corps. Could never get past this event and until several years ago never knew why?"

"The reason that could not get past this event in my life to recognize older unresolved emotional issues of mine was because was always relating my emotional issues to a woman. --Sometimes a person can even transfer their emotional feelings from one person to another. This often happens with divorce. For example, a woman recently divorced may transfer some of her negative feelings toward her ex husband onto another man that may be trying to establish a new personal connection with her too soon after her divorce."

"In my case, the unresolved emotional issue that could never get past was my love of the 'Corps!'" –"Once a Marine always a Marine!”

"Was betrayed while in the Marine Corps, so felt? The 'Corps' betrayed me; or, did they?"

"Resolving this emotional issue of mine several years ago then allowed me to explore further issues in my life prior to this event."

"My memories are clear on this matter and lead me to take a 'pause' now to explain some thoughts, feelings and emotions, again, for the reader’s sake":


By this time, my progress in resolving my "Corps" emotional issues had made a significant headway; in fact, up until my Tomboy childhood friend sent me the friend request on social media early in 2017, thought that my "Corps" issues were fully resolved, and in a way, they were.

However, to my enlightenment, my Tomboy friend's "Online Encounter" provoked further discovery within my "Corps" emotional issues that, after closer reflection, stumbled upon some "Corps" and some of "The Tomboy" thoughts, feelings and emotions that were combined into one and to continue exploring, . . . these thoughts, feelings and emotions, . . . had to be split apart from one another.

The separation process is now complete but the love is conflated and is now one.


My "Corps" and "The Tomboy" Emotional Fusion processes draws the conclusion that love does in fact grow, truly and purely.

After the messaging with my Tomboy friend for months on social media followed by sending and receiving of text messages to each other's mobile numbers, speaking on the phone together, receiving of her sister's mobile number, her daughter's E-mail address as well as receiving my Tomboy friend's E-mail address so that could register her, her daughter and her sister for vacation travel discounts, we discussed a get-together on my already planed trip to Ohio. --I'm from Ohio originally and have family there.

There are many more details about my trip to Ohio in August of 2017 that will be covered in Chapter 2 Entered the Marine Corps’ Sub Chapter 2 – Online Encounter. This current Sub chapter was inserted in preparation for Chapter 2 – Online Encounter.

Innuendo of "stalking" shortened my stay in Ohio at my mother's house considerably.

The Monday of the Eclipse of 2017, while waiting for a text message from my Tomboy childhood first love, about her planned get-together for me and her offer to buy me a Chinese dinner, decided to drive back to Florida the next day after the eclipse and after not hearing from anyone and receiving the message of innuendo of "stalking."

Thought this was a good place for one of my poems:

Original Fear

Eclipse of 2017 version

By Richard Jon Hassey

" . . . thought for a moment that it was the beginning of dusk so looked in the air and for the first time felt fear. The clouds were spinning, and the sun was not winning . . . realized just then that the clouds were the eyelids of the sun. Hoped that it was just the closing of another day of fun, but then tears began to fall from the sky, began to wonder why. The darker it got; the easier it was to see, that the tears that were falling were really coming from me. The emptiness was trying to hide, came from deep down inside, and all that it was, the fear, of living a life that isn't as clear, as the love that I have for you, that will always be true."

To continue this current story, please refer to the next chapter’s Sub Chapter 2 – Online Encounter.

 Chapter 2 – Entered the Marine Corp is up next after the immediately following special Sub Chapter bonus. . . . Chapter 1 Early Childhood is the only chapter with a bonus Sub Chapter 2. "Stay tuned!"

Chapter 1’s Bonus Sub Chapter 2 – Prep for Online Encounter

For more than 30 years now been resolving my emotional issues, figuratively speaking, one at a time!

Might suspect that after events in my life described, in my books, that must have been confronted with serious emotional issues? Sure! –That’s where my exceptional sense of humor comes from!

However, recently coined the phrase: “Have intelligent feelings!” Also, a little “luck!”

I’ve been keeping my life in perspective for more than 30 years now and holding onto all emotions because to resolve older unresolved emotions one generally has to work backwards. In other words, resolve current emotional issues and then go a further back to the next unresolved issue.

I’ve always been able to work backwards through my life and my personal issues successfully; however, always stopped this process at age 19 when entering the Marine Corps. Could never get past this event and until several years ago never knew why?

The reason that could not get past this event in my life to recognize older unresolved emotional issues of mine was because was always relating my emotional issues to a woman. --Sometimes a person can even transfer their emotional feelings from one person to another. This often happens with divorce. For example, a woman recently divorced may transfer some of her negative feelings toward her ex husband onto another man that may be trying to establish a new personal connection with her too soon after her divorce.

In my case, the unresolved emotional issue that could never get past was my love of the “Corps!” --“Once a Marine always a Marine!”

Was betrayed while in the Marine Corps, so felt? The “Corps” betrayed me; or, did they?

Resolving this emotional issue of mine several years ago then allowed me to explore further issues in my life prior to this event.

My memories are clear on this matter and lead me to take a “pause” now to explain some thoughts, feelings and emotions, again, for the reader’s sake:

In the summer of 2017, wrote and posted the following statements to my book's snippet's website:

"Several years ago, discovered and resolved my emotional issues with my Tomboy childhood friend and that’s when my thoughts were more focused on starting to put 'pen to paper' on the writing of my book."

"Quite unexpectedly! . . . I was contacted recently by my Tomboy childhood friend on social media while attempting to find a market for my products and services?"

". . . ..but want my Tomboy friend to know that these emotions, all though have been real, is not an obsession and has been resolved within myself."

"There will always be a special place in my heart for my Tomboy friend and did recently take inappropriate advantage of an opportunity to reestablish a more personal connection on social media after finding out that she was recently divorced (Only because did not know if the opportunity would ever come again in this virtual world that some are trying to create for us that I’m resisting whole heartedly!)"

"My unfair advantage was that I was hurt more in my life by women than my Tomboy friend was hurt by men. --Had more experience at being hurt than she did? It's Sad that this is the competition between men and women today. Where are relationships headed for the Millennial's?"

The quoted statements that you just read above are absolutely true with one exception:

 "Several years ago, discovered and resolved my emotional issues with my Tomboy childhood friend."

Although, had finally discovered and resolved my emotional issues with the "Corps" by this time, did not fully resolve all of my emotional issues with my Tomboy childhood friend.

 Deliberately mislead the reader's with this last quoted statement due to innuendo of "stalking." This was the only time that my "pen was put to paper" without full intention to be honest, clear and concise in my writing.

 Additionally, as promised, this exaggerated statement above is the key to "why men lie." Men are forced to lie at times for "survival." It becomes a means of "fighting back."

Women cannot deal with emotions as well as men can, from a physical standpoint, however, women's comprehension of emotions is much greater than that of men's comprehension of emotions.

Therefore, women suppress their emotions and play with men's emotions. With that, it becomes necessary for men to lie at times to throw women off of their comprehension and provide additional emotion for the woman to suppress that becomes more difficult for the woman to accomplish and inevitably the woman's emotions begin to surface thus throwing off their comprehension. In other words, once a woman starts lying to a man, he goes into, "survival mode." –Honesty is the best policy in any relationship.

In conclusion, this is why men are reluctant to show their true feelings to women because the women, in general, play on them. Once a woman knows that a man is interested in her, the ritualistic games begin.

The "system" is skewed toward the women and men's comprehension of the skewed "system" is much greater than that of women's comprehension of the skewed "system."

Someone once told me that the bible says that "one is supposed to protect their heart above all else." The guy that told me this even has a tattoo of the bible verse on his chest, due to his recent (At the time of manuscript writing) hard luck life lessons and he believed that this bible verse meant that one is supposed to keep their heart closed and choose when to open it. There is a misconception here.

My life lessons have taught me that one is always supposed to keep their heart open(ed)! The way to protect one's heart is to keep one's heart true and pure! One must let everything into their heart and one's mind, and spirit and soul will sort it out!

I've been told that my approach to life has always been one of "following my heart with god at my back." This is how I conduct my life! If a person's heart contains only true and pure love, then if they follow their heart, god will be at their back to help sort out and sometimes even determine the consequences!


(This Sub Chapter 1 – Prep for Online Encounter is dedicated to my Burnt Store friend).

Copyright © 2017, 2018 Richard Jon Hassey. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this document or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of Richard Jon Hassey.

This concludes Chapter 1 Early Childhood.

Chapter 2 Entered the Marine Corps is up next followed by Sub Chapter 2 Online Encounter. "Stay tuned."

My youngest daughter just told me that this song sucks and that it does not make any sense:

I'm actually grateful that she provided me with this feedback because it is the confirmation that was so important and relevant to my work.

My book, among many other things, hopes to dispel "labels." . . . For now, I'll refer to my daughter as a "millennial."

. . . I will absolutely make a point to examine this song with all my analytical ability, without pulling any punches, to explain the song's "meaning." 

There are those that will not like my explanation but those that will not like my explanation are those that never had any intention of buying and reading my book. 

. . . Now, they will have to read it, if they want to try to discredit my book and no one can read my final "Scratch-off lottery poem" without being a winner!

. . . I think my trap worked!! Lol

Chapter 2 – Entered the Marine Corps

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Entered the Marine Corps on the delayed entry program in 1982, the year that I graduated from high school in Brookfield, Ohio and was present on Paris Island, South Carolina in 1983 for 13 weeks of Marine Corps boot camp. After boot camp, attended nine weeks of schooling at Camp Johnson in North Carolina then off to my permanent duty station at El Toro Marine Corps Air Station in Orange County, California, decommissioned in 1999.

During induction to the base, the first thing that I was told by some Captain was to forget everything that I learned at school in North Carolina because, "none of it applies here."

So it begins, yet another social experiment that serves no intellectual or meaningful purpose to our Nation.

The office environment was quite diverse. Almost seemed as if there was a representative from all ethnic groups, including the homosexuals.

The office manager, some woman, 1st lieutenant, (I was enlisted, Pvt.) took a shine to me right from the beginning. Other enlisted said that she always wanted a quintessential rugged looking Marine. In addition, my keen and exceptional sense of humor was appealing and attractive to everyone.

She began finding ways to interact with me after pressuring me with new office and social interactions. She used office budget funds for things like a refrigerator for the office for her to stock with drinks and snacks that she would provide instead of losing these office funds in the following year’s budget for not being utilized in some way.

Had to attend “office hours” and she insisted on accompanying me and her presence served no other purpose but to try to establish a connection between us.

She discovered that I played football in High School and that had experience working on automotive engines and carburetors.

She organized a unit football tournament and entered our unit into the tournament and she participated as well.

My living arrangement was the on base barracks and had no personal transportation to the office each morning so walking to the office was the norm for me.

She started stopping and picking me up along the road on her way to the office each morning. –The timing had to be impeccable.

During one of our rides to the office she mentioned that her sister’s jeep had a carburetor problem and if I could take a look at it?

The next day she gave me a ride to her house and showed me the jeep in her garage. The linkage to the carburetor was intentionally disconnected.

When mentioning to her that I would have had to see how the linkage was connected originally to be able to connect it again properly, she immediately closed the hood of the jeep and said: “That’s enough of that! Are you hungry? I made some spaghetti.”

Prior to her serving the spaghetti, she showed me the rest of her house and opened the door to her bedroom and said: “. . . and of course, this is my bedroom.”

We ate the spaghetti and I said: “I better get back to the barracks.”

She drove me back to the barracks and parked in the parking lot and began a conversation before I had a chance to exit her vehicle. Among other things, she said: “I'm perfect for supply because I can be taken advantage of very easily.” . . . opened the car door and told that I have to go now.

The office structure began to change and the first one to disappear was the homosexual. The sergeant that took his position was one of the lieutenant’s “yes” men. He began taking an unusually personal interest in my private life.

The stress factor within the office began to increase 10 fold and a few office members' “requests” began to be unreasonable. My agitation level was increasing.

The sergeant in his newly acquired position approached me and quietly said: “I heard that you were over the lieutenant’s house.” Replied, yes and he said, “Let’s go outside for a minute, I want to ask you something.”

We went outside the office and around to the side of the building. He said: “No one has ever been over the lieutenant’s house.” He said: “She always talked about finding a rugged looking Marine but are you willing to give up your career for her?”

I was at my wit’s end at this point and said, with a smile: “More like she would give up hers’.” You had to see the look on his face! He said, sternly: “Follow me!”


The course of my life was about to change forever!

Until the year 2017.

Let’s begin:

We went back inside the office and he turned to me and said, “wait here.” He then proceeded to enter the lieutenant’s cubical. Within a short time span, the lieutenant emerged from the cubical like a drill instructor! Ordered me into the next room and told me to wait there until she returned. --Can’t be sure but believe that she went back to the cubical to call her father? He was a retired general and someone that she wanted to make quite proud of her.

The lieutenant returned with a piece of paper that she wanted me to sign and she was ordering me to sign the paper and yelling quite loudly and insisting for me to follow her instructions. --I was not about to sign anything! Said: “I can’t sign this.” She said: “You can’t or you won’t?” I said: “I can’t.”

The lieutenant called to her staff sergeant and said: “Take him to Long Beach.” Long Beach is a Naval Hospital in Long Beach, California.

(Looking back, If one thinks that there are only narcissistic men in this world, they’d be mistaken! In all fairness, do believe that she thought that she was doing me a favor because how could a guy from a poor dysfunctional family, born in Youngstown, Ohio amount to anything anyway?).

The staff sergeant directed me to follow him and we exited the building. We stopped along the side of the building a route to the warehouse. He turned to me and pinned lance corporal insignia on my collar. He said: “If you don’t go to the hospital, these are yours.”

My intuition was telling me that all but the lieutenant and her “yes” man wanted me to stay, however, at the point that the lieutenant said: “Take him to Long Beach” thought that It was best to get an objective view point of the situation elsewhere. This was my only mistake! –There was no objective view point waiting for me in Long Beach!

From the moment the staff sergeant pinned the lance corporal insignia on my collar, decided not to speak to anyone again until reaching the hospital. My only reply to any questions or statements at this point was, “take me to the hospital.”

The staff sergeant and I continued into the warehouse and another sergeant accompanied the staff sergeant and I to the staff sergeant’s personal vehicle and the three of us began the trip to the Long Beach Naval Hospital in Long Beach, California.

During the entire trip, as I sat in the back seat alone, the staff sergeant and sergeant spoke to one another as if I was not even there in the back seat. They taunted and joked, “Once you go to Long Beach, you don’t come back.” I did not say a single word during the entire trip.

We arrived at Long Beach Naval Hospital in Long Beach, California.

The course of my life was about to change forever!

Until the year 2017.

Let’s begin:

We walked in and were told to have a seat and then escorted to what was termed an open psychiatric ward.

Once entering the ward, no one was permitted to leave without permission.

A Doctor (Assumed) spoke to me and was given an injection to help me relax.

There was no opportunity to discuss why that I was there in the first place. I was only given the opportunity to answer questions? The questions were all related to mental health and I was then admitted to the opened psychiatric ward.

The nursing staff began administering oral “medications” on a daily basis. –Not always the same medication. One day, after swallowing some pills, and going outside for one of our exercise sessions (Volleyball), my lower back began a spasm and it literally felt like I was bending over backwards. It was painful and terrifying and what made it so much the worse is that I was not among friends or anyone that I felt was looking out for my best interests!

Yes, I was starting to become paranoid and so would have you!

Finally got the attention of an aid and I was helped back inside to a seat in the group therapy room as I could not walk on my own.

After some time, my back spasms began to relax and the pain subsided some and a group session was beginning and noticed hives or more like huge welts growing on my arms.

Brought them to the head-of-the-group’s attention and he told me to show them to "whomever is in the office."

Slowly walked to the office and asked what these were on my arms and he said, “It looks like you’re having an allergic reaction to the medication.” He said, “Go back to group. It should be passing."

Slowly walked back to group and had a seat. It then began to get difficult for me to breathe!

Tried to tell the group leader but no words would come out! Tried to reach and tap him on the arm but could not move!

I began gasping for air and the group leader asked if I was okay. Could not respond to him? He asked if I could talk and I was able to shake my head no. He then asked if I could breathe and I was able to shake my head no!

He called for assistance and I was carried to a bed. I was given an injection and the next thing that I remember was waking up and someone telling me that they were about to give me an IV because I was unconscious for some days?

I was told by one of the nurses that I was given someone else’s medication by mistake and had an allergic reaction to it?

My paranoia was definitely increasing and yours would have too!

After two months in the open psychiatric ward at Long Beach Naval Hospital in Long Beach, California some Doctor (Assumed) asked me if I wanted to stay in the service or if I would like an Honorable Discharge?

Elected for an Honorable Discharge!

The details of the discharge were never explained to me only that I was to receive an Honorable Discharge.

When checking out of the Hospital, some woman receptionist said: “Congratulations! You are leaving this hospital with the highest rating ever given at 50%. A 5o% Military rating is equivalent to a 100% rating by the VA.”

This was the first that I’d heard that I was being medically discharged with a 100% disability rating.

I did have to return to my permanent duty station at El Toro Marine Corps Air Station in Orange County, California, decommissioned in 1999 before being a process back to my home state of record (Ohio).

Not exactly sure why it was that I had to return to El Toro but was required to report to the lieutenant’s office one last time!

Before she was ready to speak to me, waited in my work area with the other coworkers as if nothing had happened.

The lieutenant’s “yes” man said: “Told you to tell them that someone slipped you some drugs.” The Sergeant also handed me a letter from the intake at the Hospital to read. Opened the letter and began reading it and it did state in the letter that I had stated that I thought that someone may have slipped me some drugs. (The Staff Sergeant bought me a candy bar from the lieutenant’s refrigerator prior to driving me to Long Beach). –The letter also stated that no drugs were found in the patient’s system.

The lieutenant was now ready to see me and ordered me into the cubical. While answering her questions, failed to address her as sir. She reprimanded me for that and I apologized and explained to her that for the last two months at the hospital was mostly on a first name basis. She said: “When you’re here, you have to be able to change!” She said: “Say it!” I said: “Yes sir.” She said: “It’s Ma’am!” She said: “Say it!” I said: “Yes Ma’am.” She said: “You’ll be spending the remainder of your time with us confined to the barracks. You may go now!”

I stayed in a room at the barracks for a couple of weeks before getting a flight back to Ohio.

Sub Chapter 2 – Online Encounter

Remember this from Chapter 1 bonus Sub Chapter 2 -- Prep for Online Encounter?:

Someone once told me that the bible says that ‘one is supposed to protect their heart above all else.’ The guy that told me this even has a tattoo of the bible verse on his chest, due to his recent (At the time of this manuscript writing) hard luck life lessons and he believed that this bible verse meant that one is supposed to keep their heart closed and choose when to open it. There is a misconception here.

My life lessons have taught me that one is always supposed to keep their heart open(ed)! The way to protect one's heart is to keep one's heart true and pure! One must let everything into their heart and one's mind, and spirit and soul will sort it out!

I've been told that my approach to life has always been one of ‘following my heart with god at my back.’ This is how I conduct my life! If a person's heart contains only true and pure love, then if they follow their heart, god will be at their back to help sort out and sometimes even determine the consequences!”

Somewhere around 2014, since I was always messing around with computers, such as, building media center PCs (Audio/Video) for my immediate family and taking apart electronic equipment in general, it was mentioned to me that it would be quite profitable if I could come up with a way to mute a television commercial while at the same time turning on the radio.

I didn't give this idea a whole lot of thought at the time that it was mentioned to me because was aware that any manipulation of a broadcast signal had legal implications, after all, remember the 1980's attempts at this?

In 2014, however, had already decided to start writing my book. I'd decided that the time had come to start focusing on my book writing after turning 50 years old. --My birthday is 12-30-1963.

The first reason that decided to start writing was because Mark Twain began his writing career at the age of 50. The other reasons are personal.

. . . Watched much television because had installed a couple cable-cards into my desktop media center PCs that built for me. --Liked to record basketball games to my hard drive and burn them to disc.

One day, must have been agitated about something because it seemed as though the television commercials would not end. . . . They must have had some extra time slots to fill. --I couldn't take another commercial! . . . (The idea of muting and turning on the radio came to mind and it seemed like a great idea at the time?).

Muting the television was not an issue but was so angry about the bombardment of commercials that wanted some recourse! . . . (Set my mind in analysis mode on this problem, once and for all!).

More details on the Television Commercial Silencer Electrical Wall Outlet Receptacle Tap. --Patent pending at the time of the manuscript writing are found in later chapters.

In January of 2017, now that my book writing was focused and had begun work on my Television Commercial Silencer Electrical Wall Outlet Receptacle Tap prototype and while watching the election results, decided to reopen Hassey Solutions Old-Fashioned Service, computer business in Lehigh Acres, Florida.

More details on the reopening of Hassey Solutions computer business are found in later chapters.

Never had any interest in social media until business pages became available so decided to create a social media business page to get the word out about my products and services but was not permitted to create the business page without first creating a personal page.

Eager to get started, forgot to consider the reasons that never had any interest in social media in the first place; just moved forward with the creation of the personal page followed by Hassey Solutions business page, however, also decided to make productive useout of the "personal page" and use it to help "take my life back."

Wasn't long after creating the personal page that received a friend request from my Tomboy friend from childhood?

This online encounter with my Tomboy childhood friend was the last thing that I'd expected at this time because she was already the focal point of my childhood in my book "The Domestic Marine," as my childhood first love!

2017 Post to my book Snippet’s website:

This has nothing to do with you directly and I hope that you don’t mind my sharing it but some of my recent research and experiences have allowed me to draw certain conclusions about my own life and experiences and have been noticing others have been finding correlation. Sent this message to some and they relate.

I’m trying to build a FAN base for my book because marketing is so difficult today:

It’s over $400.00 close to $500.00 for non provisional patent. That’s what I need. Good for about 20 years and there are some maintenance costs after so many years. Not many realize how difficult it is for someone in my situation to pull off some of the things that I have. I’m not wealthy and never had any support, as a matter of fact, just the opposite! My book has much that has not yet been disclosed and don’t think anyone will fully understand until they read it! That’s why been so aggressively trying to market early! Hard to get the word out through normal channels. I wish things were different but I never compromised my principles for anything my entire life and I’m not about to start now! My own family didn’t even contribute a single dollar to my Kickstarter campaign and not even sure if they would be willing to buy my book; they’d expect me to give it to them! All that I’ve been doing recently and really my whole life has been for their benefit and others' as well and a consequence to that just happen to be helping myself in the end but people are so bitter in their own lives that when they see someone climbing the ‘ladder’ they instinctively try to knock them down. ‘Misery loves company!’”

Sorry for any intrusion!

Here’s another poem of mine:

God gave us boundaries so that we may make choices. When a person chooses to close their mind or heart or soul then nothing gets in but evil knows no boundary. When one opens their mind and heart and soul then they are filled with no room for evil. Choose to open yourself and one will no longer have to choose to love; love will no longer be a choice.”

Today’s my 54th birthday (December 30th) but thought I’d do things a little differently and give everyone else a gift today. Last Poem of 2017:

..was told that I’m out of sync with society, but, how could this be, when God just sent me an Angel in my time of need? Therefore, must be in God’s favor, and there’s no place that I’d rather be, so I’m not out of sync with society; society’s out of sync with me!”

Copyright © 2017 Richard Hassey. All rights reserved.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  After receiving my childhood first love’s “Friend” request and since she was already in my book, my first thought was that I was right all along and that she must still have some feelings toward me; I was elated!

                                                                                                                                                                                                      Shortly, grew saddened though when several days had past and she still had not responded to my reply to her request. --I was not sure how to proceed with my work from here.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Finally, after several days she responded and typically, she offered little of herself but had many questions. . . . My nature is to spill my guts and other men will say that’s the last thing that one wants to do with a woman. Plus, again, once a woman knows that a man is interested in her so it begins, the ritualistic games or, since the man is no longer a challenge, the woman suddenly departs!

                                                                                                                                                                                                 

I had no time for childish games as I had several projects running in parallel and was determined to “take my life back”! However, I loved this girl, like no other! --I had to see what her intentions were, but, from the beginning, . . . had to “draw a line in the sand,” something that I had never done with any woman in the past and would never have done with this woman at any other point in my life, but then!

                                                                                                                                                                                                              The more that I spilled my guts, the more unintelligible her responses. Finally, I made my feelings clear to her and she stated, “I’ll never feel that way about you.” It hurt! Remember, had not seen or heard from her in over 30 years since High School and it really hurt! That was new for me!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  At least I knew what I needed to know so that I could get on with my projects and “taking my life back!” I did have to work for her friendship that she stated was all that we could ever have together. I was okay with that but for some reason was compelled to tell her my deepest thoughts and feelings for her as a child. She confessed that “no one has ever talked to me like that before!”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  However, as impressed as she seemed to be with me, she maintained that we could never be more than friends. I conceded and said, “I’ll always be grateful that I had the opportunity to tell you how a felt and feel about you” and was absolutely planning on leaving it at that and getting on with my projects! . . . Wham! She drew me back into her unintelligible ritualistic games again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  She, prior to this point, was giving me advise on what to watch out for in a woman and she was spot on in her details but after I shared my true feelings toward her, she began doing the things that she had just warned me to watch out for from a woman and she was not even aware of what she was doing. It was scary, it was frightening, but it was comical too!

                                                                                                                                                                                                    

She had me so mixed up and confused that I had no clue what to believe from her anymore. Suddenly, my crowdfunding efforts started to be realized and my online “Friends” began to grow exponentially right before her eyes and my Kickstarter Project began receiving attention and my childhood first love that just told me that she would never feel the same way about me as I did about her and that we could only ever be friends, called me sweetie and offered to fly down and have dinner together.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    . . . There was a deadline on my non provisional Patent and did not have time to sort out what was going on in her head. I needed to see her to be able to determine her true feelings and intentions toward me! If it were any other woman, It would not have been necessary to go to such an extent but as I said, I loved this girl like no other!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I decided to drive up to Pennsylvania to see her and she agreed to buy me dinner at a Chinese restaurant near her home and also arrange a get-together with other High School classmates of mine. Her and I were E-mailing, texting and even spoke on the phone together. She also gave me her sister’s mobile number to text and her daughter’s E-mail address so that I could sign all of them up, to share my vacation points.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Unfortunately for me, as I was planning my trip up to Pennsylvania and flight into the Pittsburgh airport my efforts received some other classmate’s attention and my Tomboy first love from childhood found HER true love via my efforts to see her, while I was trying to determine her true feelings and intentions toward me, and, thus, it hurt once again!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  She was able to find her true love and hurt me at the same time because of my efforts, a win win! . . . I cried for several days, had never done that before but soon took solace in the fact that I was the one to bring her happiness. --I hold onto that sentiment to this day and it gives me a warm feeling inside.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The night prior to my Tomboy friend from childhood finding her true love, my dreams were asking me if I wanted to release something of her that I was holding onto all of these years! I would have never let go of whatever it was that I was holding onto of hers’ any other time in my life but this was my best opportunity to “take my life back” and my Tomboy first love had just prior told me that “you have to start letting people go!”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Therefore, when my dreams that night asked me if I wanted to let go of whatever it was that I was holding onto of hers’, I said yes, since that was what my Tomboy childhood first love wanted. . . . Something of hers’ left me that night!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  To this day, I still do not exactly know why but I still wanted to see her and make sure that she was alright. While I was driving to Pennsylvania to see her, I dosed off for a short time and a dream told me to take a different route then I had originally planned to take; the new route took me into Ohio instead of Pennsylvania and the last text from my Tomboy childhood first love instructed me to go to my mother’s house in Ohio and text her from there. I did exactly as she requested but no one wanted to get-together with me and my childhood Tomboy first love’s final online message to me accused me of stocking.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  After a quite painful, something else that I had never experienced to that extent, short visit at my mother’s house in Ohio and after the 2017 total eclipse of the sun that Monday, drove back to Florida and again, it hurt!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Finally, it turns out that I am grateful to my childhood first love not only for providing me the opportunity to tell her how I truly felt and feel about her but also the opportunity to release what it was of hers’ that I was holding onto all of these years, because it freed her to find her true love and happiness and it also freed me to do the same because although I’m not quite sure what it was that I released of hers’ that night, I know exactly what it freed in me; my passion, now available for MY true love.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  After months of recovery, while at the same time continuing work on my projects, shortly, thereafter, received another friend request from another childhood love of mine. . . . What are the odds? --Only, this love was deeper, inside, somewhere? --Some more sorting to do, time to resolve, the Trophy Love!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  There is much more to this story, within prior and subsequent chapters.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The final proof and editing has not been preformed on any snippet posts or shared online content, nor has a final proof and editing been preformed on the final manuscript.

   The projected publication date for "The Domestic Marine" Never before and never again; there is only one "Domestic Marine" remains the end of 2018.


Copyright © 2017, 2018 Richard Hassey.

No part of this document or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of Richard Jon Hassey.


Original

Manuscript Submission:

Date: 2-25-2018

Time Stamp: 14:58


Restructured, after Integration

Manuscript Submission:

Date: 8-11-2018

Time Stamp: 21:17

Snippet: New Structure after Companion Book Integration:

Sub Chapter 2 – Online Encounter

"Tandem Book" writing not only produced a literary original work and first of its kind literary construct in “living books,” but is the first success story to merge the real and virtual worlds for the betterment in relationships for all and the promotion of positive social change.

Copyright © 2017, 2018 Richard Hassey. All rights reserved.

Hassey Solutions

now

The Domestic Marine Inc.

Television Commercial Silencer Electrical Wall Outlet Receptacle Tap –

Patent pending, at the time of manuscript writing, is discussed in detail and manuals are also included, in some later chapters.


After reading Sub Chapter 2 – Online Encounter, Chapter 3 – Returned to Home of Record, Sub Chapter 3 – Trophy Love and Chapter 4 – The Dispute, please see, Sub Chapter 4 – The Tomboy Story, to continue Sub Chapter 2 – Online Encounter.

Copyright © 2017, 2018 Richard Jon Hassey. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this document or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of Richard Jon Hassey.


Chapter 3 – Returned to Home of Record

After returning home was to report to the VA in Brecksville, Ohio and get my prescription filled and also report to the Federal Building in Cleveland for orientation.

The first thing that I was told in Cleveland was what jobs or professions not to bother to apply for due to my disability.

My diagnosis was a Schizophreniform Disorder with a rating of 100%. Here’s today’s definition of Schizophreniform Disorder:

Schizophreniform Disorder is a mental disorder diagnosed when symptoms of schizophrenia are present for a significant portion of the time within a one-month period, but signs of disruption are not present for the full six months required for the diagnosis of schizophrenia.”

It was spring of 1984 when arriving back in Ohio after being medically retired and honorably discharged from the U.S. Marine Corps with a military disability rating of 50% and placed on the Temporary Disability Retirement List with a service connected disability rated at 100% by the VA for a diagnosis of Schizophreniform Disorder and was awarded VA Compensation at a 100% disability rating and 100% medical coverage through the VA including dental as well as military benefits including military and civilian medical benefits.

Had no where to return to when arriving back in Ohio except my mother’s house.

After resting for several days, tried to get my prescription filled and it was not on file with the Brecksville VA yet so had to go to the local pharmacy and pay more than $50.00 for the bottle of pills out of pocket.

The pills seemed to be the only thing that helped me to sleep after taking medications for two months at the Naval Hospital.

The medication did help me to sleep; however, a problem would occur if I woke prematurely during the night. As long as I slept through the night and there was an opportunity for the drug to work its way thorough my system then was groggy in the mornings but could still function somewhat. If awakening prematurely during the night, was completely disoriented and would even lose my balance and fall down. I did not sleep through the night too often.

Tried to pick up my life, so to speak, where it left off prior to entering the service but word had gotten out about my disability and my social interactions with old friends seemed complicated all the more and yet another definition of me was added to the existing ones.

The only activity that interested me at this time was wrestling and did go back to my high school and practiced with the team but coaching was out of the question as any job within a school system was at the top of the list of occupations that was mentioned at orientation at the Cleveland Federal Building.

It was only a short period of time after being back at my mother’s house and realizing my limited capacities while taking this drug that I threw the bottle away and decided that I was not taking this drug anymore!

My oldest sister was living in Naples, Florida at this time and I decided to go down and visit her. While visiting her, her husband got me a job trimming trees out of the power lines for Florida Power Light Company.

My check from the VA was still going to a bank in Ohio and was getting a paycheck. My bank account was growing.

Brecksville’s computers flagged that the prescription was not being refilled and soon received a letter from the VA in Brecksville for a reevaluation of my disability rating.

Returned to Ohio and while waiting for the appointment at the VA in Brecksville, met my first wife.

It was now time to go to the Brecksville VA for the scheduled disability reevaluation. After arriving, was told to "go gets a routing slip and admit yourself into the clinic."

I had spent a great deal of effort to unravel this mess and start a new life in Florida and was not about to take another setback. –Asked the Doctor (Assumed) what would happen if I refused to admit myself into the clinic? He said: “Then that’s it for your benefits.” I threw the routing slip onto his desk and said: “I’m going back to Florida.”

I told the girl that I was seeing that I was not going to deal with the VA anymore and that I was going back to Florida to get my old job back. She said, “Not without me you’re not!"

We drove down to Naples, Florida together . . . rented an apartment in East Naples and did initially get my old job back trimming trees but soon decided that wanted to get into College. –The reason went into service.

Got a new job at a hardware store in the East Naples plaza where the Edison Community College Collier Branch was located.

My girlfriend was pregnant at this time while I was working at the hardware store and attending classes at the Edison Community College Collier Branch. I was paying for the classes myself without student loans.

Took all of the classes that were available at the Branch and found that in order for me to continue my education that needed to move to Fort Myers, Florida to attend Edison Community College’s main campus.

We discussed the situation, my girlfriend and me and we moved to central Fort Myers, close to downtown.

The admission's office at Edison Community College’s main campus in Fort Myers, Florida told me that I’d have to take the SAT to enroll for classes at the main campus.

I failed the SAT.

Edison Community college was one of the few colleges at the time that offered remedial courses, in algebra, reading and writing, in the event of failing the SAT, to allow for enrollment in classes.

Took these remedial classes and I was preforming exceptionally well in the remedial algebra class and was paying for these classes out of pocket.

My girlfriend was about to deliver our first child, I was cashiering at a gas station on US 41 and attending remedial courses at Edison Community College in Fort Myers, Florida and paying cash for the courses and for the first time in my life was happy and excited to get up each morning.

Received a phone call from my mother in Ohio and she said that she received a letter for me from Washington, D.C. concerning Brecksville’s disability rating reevaluation decision. She said: “Washington overturned Brecksville’s decision.”

I Was also moved from the Temporary Disability Retirement List to the Permanent Disability Retirement List?

Began college level courses now that the remedial courses were complete and began taking writing classes because writing was my area of interest. . . . Started having issues with the admission's office and enrollment and the requirements changed along with an increase in the cost of tuition and books and more classes were necessary to take at one time.

Needed financial assistance if wanted to continue my education, so made a visit to Edison Community College’s Financial Aid office and was directed to the Veteran’s Financial Aid Officer.

My girlfriend was working at this time and she had health insurance through her job and it was time to deliver our first child. My daughter Kelly was born in August 1987 in a Punta Gorda, Florida natural birth center. The delivery was paid for with my girlfriend’s health insurance.

My girlfriend and I were married approximately four months after my daughter Kelly was born. She took care of all the details.

Our little one bedroom apartment in central Fort Myers suddenly became too small once my daughter was born and my wife wanted a bigger place.

Had a certificate for a VA guaranteed home loan and my girlfriend couldn’t have been more excited. She took care of all the details and soon a house was being built for us in Cape Coral, Florida. –Took three months to complete.

The Veteran’s Financial Aid Officer at Edison Community College; she told me about the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Program that would pay for my tuition, books and even provide a subsistence allowance for living expenses.

Had to go to Miami, Florida and visit a guy at the Federal Building to get approval for participation in the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Program. –More testing.

The guy said that in order to participate in the program that Computer Programming would have to be my major of study and that I’d have to be enrolled as a full time student.

Began participation in the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Program and enrolled at Edison Community College in Fort Myers, Florida with a major in Computer Programming and Analysis as a full time student.

We were living in Cape Coral, Florida now in our new house and with our new baby.

Sub Chapter 3 –Trophy Love

It seemed that each encounter with my Tomboy friend, while growing up, was a challenge to gain her attentions, once she decided to start pulling away from me after our significant moment that was described in Chapter 1 – Early Childhood.

All the boys that she seemed to interact with treated her poorly without respect and she appeared to be drawn to this type of attentions from those boys.

I was not comfortable seeing her treated that way, however, and began an even more exaggerated "nice guy" approach to gaining her attentions and showed her even more respect than I already did. Today, can see that I also started to hide my sense of humor from her in an attempt to show even more respect, pushing her even farther away with this approach. My Tomboy friend became the source of my childhood depression by forcing me to suppress some passions, angers and even some humor so as not to lose my "nice guy" approach because I didn't want to be like the other boys.

There was, what I thought, the most lovely looking girl at school much more attractive than my Tomboy first love but I always simply ignored her because my attentions were held on my first love. Since I was having no success at getting closer to my Tomboy friend, my attentions began to focus on the most lovely looking girl at school. [Took a long time to realize that, subconsciously, this was a deliberate act to try to make my first love jealous]. –My first experience with "Trophy Love!" and my first loss of some personal confidence but realize today that I never gave the effort!

While focusing on this beautiful girl at school, in the hopes of gaining my Tomboy friend's attentions, absolutely did fall in love with her, but knew nothing of her! We never interacted with each other, to any significant degree, simply adored her appearance.

In later grades, as she got older, discovered that what a waist of my little efforts to love and care for someone that quite frankly was much too selfish and self motivated for me to ever experience any kind of lasting relationship with because my giving nature required a more reciprocating girl, a person can only give so much without receiving something! Maybe this was why that I never gave my full efforts in the first place?

At this point, I started to accept the realization that there may not be a girl for me in my neighborhood or attending my school or grade at least. My maturity level and self imposed subconscious "father figure" mentality seemed to keep me focused on the higher grades, however.

There was that one girl, the only girl, younger than I that troubled me! She always drew my attention even away from my first love, so much so that avoided her, maybe subconsciously at times, that became more difficult with each encounter. She wasn't just lovely but adorable and the sweetest girl at the school and in the neighborhood! I wanted her heart so badly but she seemed taboo to me! --It seemed almost like I was cheating on my first love!

I never attempted to steal her heart but she stole mine, ❤ without even doing anything!

I would continuously lose the focus on her and as mentioned make efforts to avoid her because of the simplicity of attractiveness. I Would have loved her friendship, as so desired, in my Tomboy first love, and she had the beauty contained and desired within my Trophy Love and she also had the most desirable heart, so filled with pure love and genuine affections, that she seemed to be a necessity almost or at least a compliment to my giving nature.

In my efforts to understand where this taboo came from and bring it to words, recalled an encounter with this girl's father at their home on our street where she lived. Her family lived two houses down from my childhood home for some time before moving. This encounter has always been the most vivid of encounters with this girl's father but never knew why until the writing of my manuscripts.

Recalled her father cleaning bluegill fish caught down at the railroad tracks at the bottom of our street and he tossed the fillets on an open fire in his back yard. . . . Down at the tracks we called the bridge, "black bridge," going over the river and there was a pond that we called, "banana pond."

I'm not sure who caught the bluegill but this girl's father appeared to me to be a man of means. He was quite the handyman and seemed to be the type that took pride in everything that he did, had ingenuity, natural skills and high character. He was everything that a young kid like me would want in a father. --I think this is where my conflict and taboo started but my self imposed subconscious "father figure" mentality carried it forward and to an extreme.

Do remember, while listening to him speak and dropping some bluegill fillets on the fire, glancing over and seeing his daughter and son and his wife also appeared, quite the mature and responsible, loving and hardworking type. --Compassionate and steadfast come to mind, commanding respect.

I remember thinking that his daughter was already desirable enough and to have a father and be part of this wholesome family was something that I craved but it would have been necessary to yield somewhat as I was just a child but my personal self imposed subconscious "father figure" mentality and assumed responsibility's to my own family could not allow for that. –Looking back now, I'm not sure, if I ever did have a childhood and unfortunately by choosing not to yield to her father, was also choosing not to yield to my own desires or even the chance of a relationship with his daughter or him or his family.

With that, ♠ taboo, I could not risk hurting her, if I were the type of person that contemplates regrets, this, and not taking the time to "smell the flowers" throughout my life, that my subconscious "father figure" mentality prevented me from doing most of the time, would be my only regrets, but regrets are a form of self pity so I don't bother contemplating them but prefer to do something about them, like starting a new, with a gentler approach to myself, because I've been as gentle to the world as possible. --It's time to yield to some desires!

If I were to define his daughter today, the only definition that could possibly make any kind of sense to me would be "The Angel One!" She was a girl worth dedicating a book too, and, my entire life!

In summary, my Tomboy friend forced me to suppress some passions and anger and humor by turning them into depression, to be someone other than myself. --In other chapters, discuss when, not just some humor, but my sense of humor was suppressed and also felt discarded-- . . . My attempts at Trophy Love took some of my personal confidence away and then The Angel One stole my heart and today, now that I have taken my life back, thought that it was time to return the favor, and steal hers', because that was always my strongest desire!


Chapter 4 – The Dispute                                                                

 Continued to work and at tend Edison Community College and had to start being seen at the Fort Myers VA outpatient clinic on Carol Road to comply with the new VA vocational rehabilitation program requirements.

 Had a dispute with one of the Doctors (Assumed) at the VA outpatient's clinic and soon after was notified that my disability rating was lowered from 100% to 70%. A 30% reduction in disability rating resulted in a 50% reduction in VA compensation.

 My wife became pregnant again.

 My daughter Jackie was born in June of 1989.

 My wife was staying home with the kids while I continued to work and attend Edison Community College but soon after Jackie was born, came home one day to my wife sitting on a blanket in the middle of the floor crying with my children around her. She said: “I can’t handle these kids anymore.”

 We talked and I suggested that she get a job and that I would watch the kids. She got a job the next day at a Convenience store near by.

 This is where a friend that she worked with introduced her to her brother. My wife began staying out a till after 2:00am even after the store was closed.

 Our relationship began to deteriorate and suggested that we go down together and talk to an attorney. My wife did not want that. She suggested keeping my plans to go up to Ohio and visit my family there and that we’d work things out after getting back . . . went to stay with my brother for the night since he was the one that was giving me a ride to the airport the next day.

 Something came up last minute and my brother asked if I could find someone else to take me to the airport so asked him to give me a ride back to my house in Cape Coral.

 After he pulled into my driveway, exited his car and walked to my front door and turned the knob and walked into my house and my wife’s friend’s brother was coming out of my shower.

 Made eye contact and then he ran for the sliding glass doors. Made eye contact with my wife and shook my head and turned and walked out my door heading back to my brother’s car. My wife shouted from the door: “Are you going to pay me child support?” I shook my head and continued to walk to my brother’s car and got into his car and asked him to drive away.

 My plane arrived in Ohio and was soon at my mother’s house. Needed some time to think and spent some time resting.

 There was a good chance that my daughter Jackie did not biologically belong to me but after watching her emerge into my world, it did not matter to me if she was my biological daughter or not because that knowledge did not change the love that was already instilled in my heart.

 Moreover, if Jackie was not my biological daughter there was also a good chance that her mother’s new boyfriend was not her biological father either.

 The more that I recalled during my rest period in Ohio the more concern that grew for my daughter’s safety and welfare.

 Made the decision to return to Florida and see to my children’s safety and welfare.

 Asked my mother if I could borrow her car to drive back to Florida; she agreed.

 I drove back down to Florida in less than 24 hours.

 Called my wife from the Convenience store and told her that I’d like to pick up the kids and spend time with them. She did not know that I’d already been to Ohio.

 I went to my house in Cape Coral where my wife now had company and picked up my two daughters and drove them back up to Ohio with me to their grandmother’s house.


Sub Chapter 4 – The Tomboy Story


 Tyears of my life.with my Tomboy first love was so instilled within me was because prior to this moment in time, I wanted to be closer to my Tomboy friend more than anything.

 Therefore, when she fell on top of me and reacted the way that she had, I knew in my heart somehow that she wanted to be closer to me too. I believe that was the exact moment when my love for her was sealed inside of me and possibly our proximity with each other opened a portal that allowed something of hers’ to pass through into me along with my love for her and so it began! My love for her and her possession were locked up inside of me all these years.

 She may have not known up to this point that I was interested in a closer relationship with her because I was waiting for an interest from my Tomboy friend. She seemed to show every disrespectful boy her attentions and friendship. --She showed me no friendship but did show me attention occasionally.

 The “significant moment” was just that a moment of attention but prior to this moment, our friendship was one sided. I was everyone’s friend but no one throughout my childhood was truly my friend.

 My principles, even from this young tender age, were that of it not being proper to act on attentions without first having a friendship. From the point of the “significant moment” forward, after sealing my love for my Tomboy friend inside of me, I began pursuing a more aggressive approach toward establishing a friendship between us and the more that my Tomboy first love pulled away from me, the harder that I tried to establish a friendship between us. Consequently, the more of my self that I lost with each encounter, I was not myself.

 Now, I believe that she recognized this behavior and she used it for attention and amusement. --Some other girls at my high school used me for attention and amusement as well.

 My failed efforts to get closer to my Tomboy first love throughout these years really was my source of childhood depression and I do not believe that the depression would have occurred if it were not for the “significant moment,” she gave me hope; but, now, I can see that it was a deception. It was false hope.


[It’s also fascinating to me that in the final online post that my Tomboy first love from childhood sent to me after I arrived in Ohio, in addition to accusing me of stocking her, she said that “you can't be just friends with me. I see that now. I don’t want to give any false hope. Please don’t contact me anymore.”

Thought it remiss of me not to mention at this point that after receiving the message above on my laptop computer from my mother’s house in Ohio, as my Tomboy friend did not text me but instead chose to post this message publicly online, none of my other friends that I grew up with wanted to get-together with me either nor did my sisters and my brother emotionally abused me while there and my mother told me that she did not love me anymore. Plus, after returning to Florida, visited with another high school classmate of mine that my Tomboy friend connected me with in the Tampa area and he thought it best that I commit suicide because now was the best time to die, why grow old with the complications that old age brings? --With friends and family like just mentioned, who needs enemies?

This old classmate of mine that my Tomboy friend connected me with also wanted me to sign a back-end loan on a lease agreement to place a camper on his property that would have committed me to a loan that would have never been paid off, just like one of my student loan banks did to me on a couple of my student loans that I used my Ohio congressman many years ago to address for me. --Back-end loans are discussed in another chapter.

The other terrifying event that occurred online was the fact that several of my old classmates formed a group online and were sharing some of my communications between the group not knowing that I was aware of their activities. Their intentions were not principled or honorable. Also, although I have no proof of this statement do believe that my oldest brother was involved in sabotaging my efforts as he had been many times in the past because even my father says that my oldest brother is so bitter and envious of me and my income. There has never been a greater need for The Domestic Marine in this country. Everything is going to hell, because of money, greed and envy!].


 You must remember that at this point no one knew of the true events that lead to my discharge from the Marine Corps in 1984.

 My depression mentioned previously affected many areas of my life including my participation in sports in junior and senior high schools.

 I was the best wrestler at my school. This was not always apparent during wrestling matches after my junior high school coach who was the only guy throughout my childhood that ever truly tried to help me in any way was fired.

 He got the school to pay for two wrestling camps that I attended. I met two Olympic wrestling gold mentalist at these camps.

 The ironic part about this story is that while everyone was participating in the “social experiment” and blatantly demonstrating their prejudices against one another and “siding up” as it were, it was another “Irishman” that got the only guy to every try to help me, while I was growing up, fired! Partly because his sister liked me and I did not show her the proper attention, according to him.

 This is the exact moment that I realized prejudices are foolishness because where do they start and where do they end? My love for my ex wrestling coach was sealed inside of me at this moment also, and, possibly again a portal opened that allowed something inside of me that filled an emptiness that allowed no room for prejudices.

 After my junior high school wrestling coach was fired, I no longer put on a show for everyone in the wrestling matches because there was no longer any meaning in the matches anymore but in the practice room back at school, no one could beat me in a match!

 Complicating things even more was my new wrestling couch wasn't so partial to “Irishman” either. In fact, he scheduled a scrimmage with his old team at their school and instructed one of his favorite wrestlers on that team to hurt me seriously if the opportunity arose during a match. This scrimmage was where I broke my collar bone and was out for the rest of the season and lost hope of going to the state championships. Prejudices have never helped this “Irishman” in any way.

 What I've learned about myself, though, through my trials and tribulations is that when blocked by these types of people, the one’s with the closed hearts, minds and souls that are afraid of life and must hurt others to find their self worth, bring the best out of me and my goals stretch even farther to their highest view.

 I started training for the Olympics in wrestling and began to focus on ways to eliminate any fears or apprehensions during or while in competitions and this mind set was instilled inside of me and taken along as I entered the Marine Corps in January 1983.


Chapter 5 – The Injunction for Protection

After my wife learned that the children were in Ohio, she talked to her mother and her mother helped her with the filing of an Injunction for Protection against me in the lee county, Florida court system.

Two Trumbull County, Ohio deputies knocked on my mother’s door with a copy of the Injunction for Protection and a Writ of Habeas Corpus for my two daughters.

They threatened to take my mother to jail if I did not produce the children. Coincidentally, the children were being cared for elsewhere when the deputies arrived.

Told one of the deputies that no one knew where the kids where at but me and threw the Injunction paper back at the deputy and I told him that it was B.S.. He had to call his superiors for instructions on how to proceed.

The deputy hung up the phone and said that they’d be back with a warrant for my arrest and suggested that I not be there when they returned and to seek the advice of an attorney. After the two Deputies left, my mother, brother and I went to a local attorney’s office and had him draw up three sworn affidavits contesting the Injunction for Protection and asking for a Stay of Execution of the Writ of Habeas Corpus due to our concerns for the safety and welfare of the minor children because of the state of mind that their mother was in currently.

Our attorney filed the Sworn Affidavits and Request of Stay of Execution of the Writ of Habeas Corpus with the Trumbull County, Ohio court system.

Before going into what occurred at the Trumbull County, Ohio court house, there is something that must be understood.

My memories are clear on this matter and lead me to take a “pause” now to explain some thoughts, feelings and emotions, again, for the reader’s sake:

When my wife went down to the Lee County, Florida Justice Center and filed the Injunction for Protection, she wrote on the paperwork that I was a “schizophrenic.”

This was accepted and entered into the Lee County computer system that made it part of the public record!

Lee County, Florida and my wife had no idea what they had just done and neither cared! It was a method of control and that is all that was important to any of them!

Remember, the “millennial’s” issue that has been debated on social media so much these days about how many believe that children of today need consequences for their actions or their respect for others and behavior will not improve? This statement is also true of women! Our social systems have virtually eliminated consequences for women because of the gross misconception that men are “bad” and this mentality of hurting them before they hurt you has carried into many of our social systems, subconsciously!

Throughout these years there was never a “diagnosis” of “schizophrenic!”

Remember:

My diagnosis was a Schizophreniform Disorder with a rating of 100%. Here’s today’s definition of Schizophreniform Disorder:

Schizophreniform Disorder is a mental disorder diagnosed when symptoms of schizophrenia are present for a significant portion of the time within a one-month period, but signs of disruption are not present for the full six months required for the diagnosis of schizophrenia.”

Furthermore, remember:

Had a dispute with one of the Doctors (Assumed) at the VA outpatient's clinic and soon after was notified that my disability rating was lowered from 100% to 70%. A 30% reduction in disability rating resulted in a 50% reduction in VA compensation.

This Doctor (Assumed) was dabbling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder but settled on Major Depression.

. . . Was on the way out of the VA system when my wife defined me a “schizophrenic” and made it part of the public record and no one at the Lee County Justice Center had the intelligence or compassion or legal knowledge to set the record straight!

In addition, there was no litigation at this point. I simply took my children to visit their grandmother in Ohio. An Injunction for Protection is filed when a person has a legitimate concern for immediate bodily injury! I was never violent in my entire life and how could my wife have this concern when I was 1200 miles away in the state of Ohio.

The Lee County, Florida clerk's office archived these records faster then any other records prior!

Here’s what occurred at the Trumbull County, Ohio Court House:

My attorney, mother, brother and I walked into the Trumbull County, Ohio Court House and took a seat. My wife, her mother and her mother’s attorney walked in and sat down.

My attorney and my wife’s mother’s attorney went up front to start the proceedings and talk with the Judge.

My attorney’s briefcase was open on the table where copies of the three sworn affidavits were.

It was my understanding that the Affidavits and Stay of Execution of the Writ of Habeas Corpus were already filed with the Trumbull County, Ohio Clerk’s Offices, but, don’t believe that they ever were, that’s what these sham proceedings were all about!

We were all there for a trial but no one including the Judge had any idea on how to proceed with the matter.

The Judge said let’s begin and my wife’s mother’s attorney handed the Judge a piece of paper and the Judge got up and walked to a side room off of the courtroom.

Both attorneys followed and a heated argument ensued.

The Judge called me into the side room and demanded that I tell him where the children were at or he was going to put me in jail!

I told the Judge to put me in Jail!

He said: "I don’t think you understand. If you don’t tell me where the children are at, then you’re going to the Trumbull County jail." I said: “I already told you to put me in jail.” –Walked out of the side room.

They all followed with the yelling and arguing and my mother said to my attorney: “You’re his attorney; do something!”

The Judge told his bailiff to take me to the Trumbull County jail and the bailiff and I started walking out of the court room toward the lobby while everyone else began to follow.

The arguing and yelling continued the whole way to the exit doors when the Judge said to his bailiff: “Wait!”

The Judge said: "I’m going to give your mother an opportunity to tell me where the children are."

My mother looked at me and I said to the Judge: “If I tell you where the kids are at then you won’t put me in jail?” The Judge said: “That’s right.” I told him where the kids were at and the judge said to his Bailiff: “Take him to jail!”

Later found out about the personal relationships between my wife’s mother and her attorney and the Judge and also that someone took the three sworn affidavits from my attorney’s briefcase when the arguing ensued and to this day, I’m not sure if there is a single record of any of what occurred that day; not even that I went to the Trumbull County jail! I don’t believe that there is a single record of any of these events in the Trumbull County, Ohio clerk’s office!

A brief summary of what occurred after I was let out of the Trumbull County, Ohio jail onto the street is as follows:

Called my mother from a pay phone and she picked me up near the jail house.

During the ride back to my mother’s house told that I’d sign my compensation check over to her if she’d lend me the money to go back down to Florida and hire an attorney and fight for custody of my children.

From that point forward my mother became obsessed with my income from the VA.

Sub Chapter 5 – The Angel One


 Although my dedication to The Angel One has been revealed, I’ll continue to refer to her as The Angel One or my number one angel. Recall from Sub Chapter 3 – Trophy Love that my number one angel lived two doors down from my childhood home. She was kinda a homely girl when she was little but for some reason her looks didn’t matter to me. It was her pleasant personality, kindness and sweetheart demeanor that formed the love that was locked up deep inside of me, not too long after sealing my Tomboy friend’s first love inside.

 The Angel One grew from the days that she was on crotches from her broken leg to her high school days more beautiful with each passing year and by the time that she was in high school, she was as lovely as a woman can get, in every way! This statement holds true even today, at the time of this manuscript writing.

 I’m thinking now, after my online encounter with my Tomboy friend that maybe God was giving me a better choice since he knew that I’m the type that always keeps my heart, mind and soul open. Possibly, God kept The Angel One out of reach then, so that forced me to lock her love up deeper inside of me, so when my first love failed my true love would then surface? --That’s exactly what happen, so it seems logical. . . .

 . . . I remember her brother being the cutest little boy in the neighborhood and he was fearless! Full of energy too! No depression in that kid! Seemed to love life, I assumed that it was because he had a great father.

 He was several years younger than I but I admired him and I also admired his father. Moreover, The Angel One most likely developed her pleasant personality from her mother’s love and commitment to her family and her respect for her husband and The Angel One’s respect for her father.

 These characteristics and this type of family unity supported my principled ideals and that aided in the development of my love that was locked up inside of me all these years, a little deeper than my first love, because God must a knew that The Angel One provided a less fleeting love that my giving nature required.

 Furthermore, for me anyways, attentions are meaningless and hold no passions.

 . . . Any relationship that’s not built on a mutual foundation of friendship, admiration, respect, compassion, commitment, caring and love is numbing to my senses and childish to say the least. These mentioned characteristics and ideals are what raise my passions to their highest view! --Anger and fighting numb my senses to their greatest degree!

 With that, along with Sub Chapter 3 – Trophy Love, explains why, ♠ taboo, I could not risk hurting her; however, as my writing chugged along discovered even more insight into The Angel One’s ♠ taboo and also found the Ace of ♣ taboo while examining my feelings for The Angel One more closely.

 Let me explain: Discovered that I was also fearful, self ♣taboo, of any relationship back then with The Angel One as I am now, because she possesses everything that my heart desires, then and now, and, I was so fearful of losing her again, then and now, that I took what I could of hers,’ just like I did with my Tomboy first love and locked it up deep inside of me so that I could always have something of her close to my heart, but, where ever I kept this something of hers,’ I still do not know, but it’s not in my heart, because my heart remains open at all times for the slightest chance that The Angel One may consider coming inside willingly; but, if she would like me to let her go as my Tomboy first love requested then as much as it will hurt me to release whatever it is that I’m holding onto of hers’, I certainly will, if it will have the same results as my Tomboy first love received and bring The Angel One true love and happiness, because that, as I stated in Sub Chapter 3 – Trophy Love, was and now is my strongest desire!

 In conclusion, this sub chapter was going to end with a discussion of the girl in my high school, my Trophy Love, that I tried to make my Tomboy first love jealous with, however, after my deeper insights into my true feelings for The Angel One, then and now, my Trophy Love from back in my high school days is not worth mentioning. It’s crystal clear to me now just how superficial Trophy Love is and it has lost any meaning to me, now that I have taken my life back.


Chapter 6 – The Best Interests of the Children


 Returned to Florida and hired a law firm and gave one of their divorce attorneys a personal check for $2500.00.

The first thing that he did was put a lean on my house in Cape Coral for all future funds.

Divorce was big business in Lee County, Florida at this time and nothing was more profitable for many attorneys. It was the peak of this type of business!

The slogan “The best interest of the children” was just that it was a marketing slogan with absolutely no meaning behind it!

A detailed manuscript is on microfiche in the Lee County, Florida records archives for anyone interested in researching the corrupt practices in divorce court during these years. Did manage to get the manuscript into the official court file.


This is an old proverb:

He who knows not and knows not he knows not is a fool, shun him.

He who knows and knows not he knows is a child, teach him.

He who knows and knows he knows is wise, follow him.”

Included this proverb in the early 90s at the end of my manuscript that is on file on microfiche at the lee county justice center document's archive.

Ended up getting rid of my attorney when discovered that he couldn't care less about anything but his bank account. He did not refund me a dime of the $2500.00 and I represented myself from that point forward in every hearing for over a year, including at the final dissolution trial.

After the divorce was final, returned to court many times after the judge specifically ordered at the final trial that all matters forward shall be taken up in mediation. Everyone just did whatever they wanted and I was expected to comply. The courts did not even follow their own rules.

Throughout the divorce proceedings I continued to attend Edison Community College under the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Program and in 1992 graduated from Edison Community College in Fort Myers, Florida with an Associates in Science Degree in Computer Programming and Analysis, while my ex wife continued to go through boyfriends and party but yet I continued to be the one that society viewed as the one at fault somehow and marked the villain.

Graduating from Edison Community College in 1992 meant that I completed the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Program; however, even though the guy at the Federal Building in Miami told me to never let Edison Community College forget that it was their responsibility to get me a job he also told me to keep working with my Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor in St. Petersburg. In other words, he had done all that he was going to do for me.

One of my Instructors told me that although it is typically required that one has an Associates in Arts Degree to get into the University of South Florida in Tampa that I could get in with my Associates in Science Degree due to my leadership qualities. Believe that this was the college’s way of passing the buck so to speak. Instead of being responsible for getting me a job they wanted to pass me off to the University of South Florida in Tampa.

Florida Gulf Coast University did not exist at this time so the only way for me to continue my education was to move to Tampa to attend the University of South Florida.

Also continued to work while attending Edison Community College and the manager at the convenience store that I was cashiering at said that I could transfer to a store in Tampa.

My brother and his girlfriend said that they had been wanting to move to Tampa so we all drove to Tampa together and I got an apartment for all of us and paid first, last and security. I also completely furnished the apartment and while my brother and his girlfriend waited at the apartment, I went to the University of South Florida and the convenience store that I was supposed to be able to transfer to.

The manager at the convenience store in Tampa said that they were not hiring at this time and when I went to the University of South Florida a woman in the Admissions Office said that unfortunately my Instructor at Edison Community College was mistaken and that I could not be admitted into the University without an AA degree.

Drove back to my new apartment in Temple Terrace and opened the door and my brother and his girlfriend were sitting on my couch smoking pot! Got a sick feeling in my stomach and thought that the universe was playing some kind of sick joke on me! Here I am struggling and trying the best that I can to improve my situation and not only is the universe blocking me at every turn but my own brother continues to sabotage my efforts and has little concern for anything but a free ride in life!

No one in my family ever understood my situation. It is true that I had never disclosed the true events of what occurred that lead to my discharge from the Marine Corps to anyone until relatively shortly prior to the release of this book but my family, especially my oldest brother, viewed my situation, in his words: “A blessing in disguise!” This was one blessing that I could have done without!

All that my family ever saw was the income that the VA was providing me and were envious of that and quite frankly so was everyone else that ever became familiar with my situation and our government feels that monetary compensation is adequate in these types of situations as well! Let me set the record straight for all! It’s not! In addition, The money is not worth it either! One gives up too much of their self for a small sum of money that is truly a deception of freedom!

Told my brother that needed some time to myself and left my new apartment and drove past the University of South Florida and came across a room for rent. I went inside the office and rented the room. It was a tiny room and shared a common bathroom with two other guys.

I laid in the bed in deep contemplation. My goal was always to take my life back but saw no chance of accomplishing that by going back to Fort Myers but also saw no chance of accomplishing my goal in Tampa either! Quite frankly, at the time, was not sure how to accomplish my goal moving forward as well!

I was extremely troubled and had absolutely no one to turn to as usual!

[As I learned about mental health and coping mechanisms through the years and shared this information with my family to try to help them with their mental health issues, they would use what I taught them to try and negatively impact my mental state in the hopes of controlling me to benefit more so from my income].

Life is about perspective and from my perspective: My brother said that he had been wanting to move to Tampa and I had just provided him a fully furnished apartment in Tampa and all that he had to do was what I just tried to do; go and get a job. From his perspective, I abandoned him and forced him to move back to Naples, Florida so that his girlfriend could get her old job back and support him so that he could sit on her couch and smoke pot.

After taking a brief time reckoning with this situation, turned back to my own problem and my soul-searching leads me to contemplate what it was that I always wanted to do when I was younger and that was wrestle for Kent State University.

Lying in bed in this single room in Tampa, Florida trying to make a decision about how to proceed with my life, to this day, remains the single hardest decision that I had ever had to make in my entire life so before anyone judges me please see if you could try to put yourself into my shoes for a moment!

Called my mother and asked her if I could stay with her for a short time until I could enroll in Kent State University Trumbull; she agreed.

I bought a plane ticket to Ohio and drove to the airport and left my car in long term parking with no intention of taking it out. Told my mother to inform my brother of this and now not only did he have a fully furnished apartment in Tampa, Florida but also a new car.

Stayed with my mother for a short time and then got an apartment in Warren, Ohio and enrolled at Kent State University, Trumbull. Their admission’s office asked no question of an AA degree, by the way and transferred all of my credits from Edison Community College. --Go figure!

Thought that I’d mention that I did not waist time at my mother’s house! While there, bought an IBM PS2™ Computer that came with the Prodigy™ Internet Service backed by Sears™. Used the computer to write a TURBO PASCAL™ Security Application Program for Windows 3.1™ that even used mild encryption that I invented myself and copyrighted the program. A copy of the source code is on file with the United States Copyright Office. My Security Application Program was the basis for IBM’s OS2 Warp™ but never got credit for this!

Just as one of the reasons believe that my Instructor at Edison Community College wanted to get rid of me because he stole my algorithm that was the basis for computer card games like poker. My final project for graduation at Edison Community College in 1992 was writing a computer poker game in TURBO PASCAL™ and my Instructor required that I decompile the source code for him as a condition of graduation and everyone in the computer lab said that my poker game was marketable.

Since I left my car at the airport in Tampa, had no vehicle to get me back and forth to Kent State University, Trumbull branch so bought a bicycle.

The entire time that attended Kent State Trumbull, I rode my bicycle to classes even in the winter time.

Took several psychology as well as biology classes here and in fact, just as I did at Edison Community College Collier Branch, took all the classes offered at Kent State University, Trumbull and had to move onto Kent State University’s main campus in Kent, Ohio to continue my education.


Sub Chapter 6 – The Kimbert Story
                                                                

 “The Domestic Marine” dedication decoding ocedure to “Codetalkers”: Lang. Lakota: Keyword: Solar Power. Initialization String is The Story Based on: Will be hand delivered. Enhanced 52 character alphabet --Same as deck of cards. Hassey Solution's recursive poker game algorithm to fill array, 12 iterations, 1 space and no parity. Stop String is The Story Based on: Will be hand delivered.

There was one more girl that I loved deeply but was taboo also, but, for a different reason, not a reason of my creation or control. She was an American Indian girl, from Rapid City South Dakota that my Indian friend from the Marine Corps introduced me to. --She was his step sister.

The coordinated efforts of all of my recent online, recent as in the last year and a half as of the writing of this manuscript, encounters wan in comparison to the mind games that were set upon me while in the United States Marine Corps. Nothing compares to this day.

You are going to have to accept my premise that these games were due to the fact that I’m a caring and loving guy that people see as easy prey for taking advantage. There is simply no other explanation and remember, when I was in the service only received my military paycheck, consider my current income and benefits on top of my nice guy persona and I’m a welcome mat to be walked all over, tack on my alleged “disability” to fight back and I’m a gold mine!

My entire life, I've seen no evidence that women or men for that matter are capable of love, affection or compassion at least not toward me anyways. That’s why The Angel One is so important to me because for most of my life she has been a part of me in some way, somewhere, inside and I recognized all the traits that I’m looking for in a woman in her since I was a child and she displayed these same traits to me recently, after sending me a friend request, shortly after returning from my Ohio trip.

The insertion of this story is for my sake and my sake only. It is so that I never forget the loves, trials, tribulations and triumphs throughout my entire life because I have absolutely no intentions of ever suppressing a single thought, emotion, feeling or pain ever again the rest of my life! These things are part of life to be experienced right along side the best of times!

Once one decides to stop feeling something, or, anything, they have to close something and that something is either their heart, mind or soul or all three and that is exactly what allows evil to flourish in one’s life.

Don’t be deceived any longer? Open yourself to the world around you or something will be taken from you that you may not get back! Make sure that it’s not your life! . . . I did ..and finally have my life back and would like to share my success.

There is one ACE still out there! The ACE of 

The ACE of ♦ is for the love of a toddler Indian boy. Don’t argue with me because it’s my poker game algorithm so I make the rules!

My Indian friend from the Marine Corps, back in the 1980s, had a son named Andrew and Andrew’s mother gave Andrew to me to care for while I was living in Naples, Florida back in the 1980s.

I loved this little boy like he was my own son and the hardest thing that I've ever done was to report his mother as an unfit parent and have Andrew placed into foster care in Fort Myers, Florida and see to it that his Indian right’s were exercised.

Often wondered what happened to that little boy but as with my Tomboy first love from childhood, I take solace in the fact that I put his needs ahead of mine and hope that he is better off today for my efforts! As with my Tomboy first love, I hold onto this sentiment and although writing about it makes me cry, normally have a warm feeling inside.

“The Domestic Marine” Never before and never again, there is only one “Domestic Marine” is dedicated to Andrew, my non biological Indian son and blood brother that helped me bring meaning back into my life; the life, that, I just took back!


Chapter 7 – The 90s, And So It Begins, Online Dating, The New Era, It Is Time: "The Domestic Marine"


            In the early 90s, while attending Kent State University, Trumbull, in addition to my new friends on campus, signed up for the Prodigy Internet Service and later AOL.

             . . . Met my second wife on the Prodigy Internet Service and the first time that we met she flew from Tampa, Florida up to Ohio to meet up with me and we eventually, went down to Tampa and loaded and drove a U-haul back up to Ohio for her and her three daughters and we rented a house in Cortland, Ohio together. --My girlfriend took care of all of the details.                                                                                                                                                                                                   

            I was already attending classes at Kent State University’s main campus at this time but the drive was getting too much for me so wanted to move to Kent and while looking at apartments in Kent, my girlfriend started crying and said: “I can’t live this way!” . . . Asked her where she would prefer to live and she said: “Atlanta.”

            I loaded another U-haul and drove her and her three daughters to Georgia. --We rented a house in Douglasville, Georgia. My girlfriend took care of all of the details.

            My girlfriend suggested that I continue my education and pointed out that Georgia Tech was close and a much better school and she explained to me how to get there.

                                                                                                                                                                                                Still had a student loan in Kent State University’s Bursar’s Office, so drove up to Ohio and went to Kent State University’s Financial Aid Office and discussed and signed a Transient Agreement between Kent State University and Georgia School of Technology. –Douglasville is about 20 miles west of Atlanta. –Georgia School of Technology and Georgia State University are across the street from one another in downtown Atlanta.

                                                                                                                                                                                                Visited Georgia Tech with my signed Transient Agreement and presented it to the admissions office. The agreement was confirmed and I then made a visit to the computer science department and met with the head of the department and explained my situation to him and quite frankly, I was not impressed with him.

He deviated me from my original desired courses and recommended his system software course and an assembler language programming course of his. These were not the courses that were preferred but he made them my only options that would satisfy the Transient Agreement.

After enrolling in Georgia School of Technology as a Transient Student from Kent State University with my signed Transient Agreement, some woman in Kent State University’s Financial Aid Office refused to deliver my student loan check to Georgia Tech’s Bursar’s Office unless I agreed to return to Kent State University after the Transient Agreement was satisfied.

Already had my Ohio Congressman working on an issue for me to help lower my payment with the VA toward reimbursement of my VA guaranteed home-loan on my house in Cape Coral, Florida that went into default after my divorce from my first wife. To my understanding, up until this time, the VA did not require reimbursement for defaulted VA guaranteed loans from Veterans.

After personnel in the Georgia Tech financial aid office got off the phone with personnel in the Kent State University Financial Aid Office and received no satisfaction, personnel from the Georgia Tech Financial Aid Office were informed that I had full support of an Ohio Congressman’s Office and after careful review of the signed Transient Agreement, Georgia Tech received my Financial Aid Check from Kent State University’s Bursar’s Office.

Shortly thereafter, had to rush to class. . . . here’s where learned the UNIX™ and later LINUX™ Operating Systems. LINUX™ is just UNIX™ with a kernel patch so the kernel will run on an X86 Processor. –Anyone in the System Software class at Georgia School of Technology should have been able to do that.

The system software course was a Georgia School of Technology graduate course and while doing exceptionally well with this course, especially due to my extreme interest in compilers and micro coding, he requested a meeting with me in his office and after he learned that I was not a graduate student, he began blocking my progress because if I had passed that graduate course there would have been implications, including the right to credit on all required courses preceding the graduate course.

In the end, he passed me with a D grade but a D grade requires a retake of the course and that would not have been possible in my current situation.

He did pass me in the assembler course above a D grade so I did receive credit for the course and no retake was necessary but this was more due to his inability to find a way to justify a D grade. . . . My final project was writing the assembler language coding required for a basic function calculator. Incidentally, completed this entire coding project from my house in Douglasville, GA via a dial-in 9600 baud modem to a UNIX system, configured with Terminal Services.

The Assembler course was an extremely high level coding and I did not even consider it to be assembler language coding and when he saw the ease that I was having with this coding and my pointing out that my previous assembler language courses were closer to the hardware coding and that my interests were to get to the heart of the matter, he was forced to go into micro coding and he was not comfortable with that and when I expressed an interest in the compiler course he told me that "you’d better be prepared to fail all my other courses," and the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Program requirements have strict guidelines and that would have been my only financial option because I was getting resistance with student loans as well.

There was no way forward here for me so thought it best to move on after satisfying the transient agreement and that is exactly what I did.

My girlfriend and I were married around the time of my attendance at Georgia Tech. –We were married in Douglasville, Georgia. My girlfriend took care of all of the details.

Shortly after we were married, she got a job and did not need me so much anymore. Our relationship quickly and unexpectedly deteriorated.

It was somewhere around this time that started taking karate lessons again. There was a Shotokan Dojo near my house that drove past every day and stopped in and explained to the black belt Instructor that at one time was training for the Olympics in wrestling and had already had training in Tae Kwon Do in Naples, Florida.

He did not appear intimidating to me, however, had enough experience to know not to underestimate anyone. It is an excepted principle though in all martial arts that they are used only in self defense and that honor and integrity is held at the highest esteem. . . . Maybe those things have to be set aside to become a black belt. I never bothered with belts, just training.

I challenged him but only in an opportunity to out maneuver me in a wrestling position and as he was about to lose, with many of his students around watching, including his wife, he took out my knee.

Before we began, it was understood that it was a wrestling maneuver and wresting is a sport. He even went and retrieved some floor mats before we began. I thought that integrity would have given me a chance here but later, after giving some thought to the situation, he could not risk the chance of failure, especially with his wife present. . . . He did need to take a break from the stress, however, and brought in one of his police officer friends to conduct classes for a while.

I stayed with him in spit of this occurrence to make sure that he knew that I was not defeated and began to restrengthen my knee during each workout and returned to the kata when my knee was strong again.

When he saw that my knee was strong again, his demeanor was more humble and respectful from that point forward toward me. We became good friends after that event.

I was on the street for some days after a Douglasville Police Officer said that since my wife had children that the circumstances are irrelevant that I was required to leave the home.

. . . Could not even get a PO box from the Post Office as they were not provided to the homeless? One must have a physical address to acquire a PO box the women at the Post Office said.

Walked into a Law Office and told to file for divorce and started looking for an apartment on foot.

Found an efficiency apartment on the main strip in Douglasville and in a plaza near by there was a Veteran’s Service Center and they directed me to the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor in that area and did get back under the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Program in Georgia for a short period of time, after completing the Transient Agreement at Georgia Tech and transferring to Georgia State University. –As a transient student, was told that, could only attend a school for one quarter and then must transfer to an accredited school. That’s why I transferred to Georgia State University because it was across the street from Georgia Tech.

When I was attending Georgia State University, I was taking Algorithms and ADA Programming. ADA is just like PASCAL only easier and I was the only one in the class that could read it as easily as English, after writing my final poker game project at Edison Community College and my security application, both in PASCAL.

Some woman ADA programming Instructor did not feel comfortable with the ease that I was having in her class and she requested a meeting with me after class one day. She said that "you seem to have a handle on the programming; my recommendation is that you take more math courses." She said: “I’m not trying to block you.” –She would not allow me to continue with her class until I had more math courses under my belt, so to speak.

This is the type of resistance that I would receive while attending any college once I was no longer anonymous at the school. Everything would be going great when starting a new school or class until the Instructor learned of my situation.

I was already enrolled and taking her class so how could she deny me the course, especially, when was under the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Program. --The course was already approved and paid for?

I was not in a position to make the adjustments that were required after the ADA Instructor prevented me from moving forward with her class. Had to withdraw from Georgia State University because the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Program required a full time student status.

Decided to attempt employment in the Computer Programmer Field and went down to the Twin Towers in Atlanta and took the Civil Service Programmer’s Exam. –Was awarded a few Veterans' Preference Points but past the Exam with an A.

I went to a job interview but I didn't get the job.

I was living in a boarding house at this time and working at the second hardware store since the divorce of my second wife and walking several miles to work each day.

The reason that I left the job at the first hardware store is because the owner was connected with me through my VA Vocational Rehabilitation Councilor and they were still conceptualizing the idea of indentured servitude. The first thing that the owner of the hardware store did was give me access to a camper and loan me money to work off. Each time that I would pay him back and mention moving on he would offer more money to work off.

While traveling together he would speak of his fascination and study of Thomas Jefferson and Thomas Jefferson's ideology and the indentured servants and slaves that he kept. I saw the parallels that he was drawing with my own situation and recalled how my mother had once told me that certain people like to "tell on their selves." This is similar to what my Tomboy friend did in Chapter 2 – Online Encounter, in the companion book.

It was Tampa all over again but with more experience now at dealing with the universe.

The realization set in that the VA is the largest Data Collection Agency in the world but my Computer Science knowledge enlightened me to the fact that no computer log files provided any information more valuable than the information that Human Intelligence provided.

First, sent a letter to The White House in Washington, DC. requesting entrance back into the Marine Corps and later sent a hand written letter to The White House in Washington, DC. with my signature permitting the monitoring of my communications and activities. With that, received a letter soon after from the Pentagon instructing me to go down to my nearest Recruiter's Office.

After presenting the Recruiter of color in Douglasville, Georgia, with the letter and him confirming, he stated that although my age still met the requirements for entrance into service, by a few months, that the paperwork would be delayed to prevent direct entrance to active duty status.

From this point forward, I defined myself: "The Domestic Marine." . . . This was the only way forward in life, for me, was to define myself, but, in later years, come to realize that my definition was only an embracement of whom that I always was, and that nothing changed for me because whom that I always was, was, a man that continued to fight his way out of every situation that he was every in, to continue the journey forward in life, toward true love and happiness and a passionate embrace with a loving and affectionate woman that is also a friend and companion, willing to travel along the side with him, wherever life might take them.


Lying in bed in my room at the boarding house, decided to move back to Florida.


Sub Chapter 7 – Raising A Teenage Step Daughter at age 30 As "The Domestic Marine"

It became quite evident after my second wife, by this time, was situated in her new home and gainfully employed, and collecting child support from the state of Florida that amounted to more than my VA compensation, and her also immediately making a new friend at work that was associated with a local church, and my wife even stated to me that she was older than I [. . . thus easier for her to take advantage] that I attempted to focus on my step daughter's safety and welfare from that point forward.

Just prior to my wife's and my dysfunction, I had also flown my two minor biological daughters up from Florida for their first of two visits and even had them baptized during their second visit on stage at a church that I joined specifically for this reason, since their mother never complied with the original court order in my first divorce decree that the minor children are baptized in accordance with the catholic faith.

My two minor biological daughters were able to make both visits after providing them airline tickets. Incidentally, the second visit took place while living in the boarding house with no transportation and walking to work each day. –It was nice to see my children driving the Barbie Jeep that they wanted, in the church parking lot next door to the boarding house, knowing that they were now baptized. (I was also baptized with my children on stage at the church but when the pastor requested that I go first, I insisted my children precede me since I was already baptized as a baby but did, however, take a second dunk after my children, because I figured that it couldn't hurt). The church that we were all baptized at was not the same church that was next door to the boarding house, by the way.

My wife was using her daughters, especially my oldest step daughter, to help in driving me away because my wife transferred her bitterness toward her ex-husband onto all men including me and used me as a tool to accomplish her objectives. She did not see me as a loving friend and companion and husband on a journey together nor did she want me to be. She had no capacity for love at this point in her life.

My oldest step daughter was making things difficult for me intentionally along with her mother and my step daughter even got suspended from school for doing drugs.

All that my teenage step daughter wanted to do was go back to Florida and live with her father. Finally decided to grant her the wish and drove her from Douglasville, GA to Tampa, FL to her father's house.

The next day her father drove his daughter back to Douglasville, GA and dropped her back off at the house that I provided my step children.

I enrolled her in a mandatory inpatient drug treatment program and informed her mother that before my step daughter could come back and join the family that she must complete the program. My wife initially agreed but as time went on and my step daughter pressured her mother into letting her come back home and stated to everyone that she believed that I was merely trying to "get her out of the way so that I could go to school" is when I decided to withdraw from Georgia State University, while also taking into consideration the fact that the ADA Instructor was blocking me from moving forward with her class.

My teenage step daughter rejoined her family and my wife even admitted her original insincerity toward our relationship and confessed that I was the only one that was able to "straighten out" her kids but she still was so bitter toward men that she spitefully reminded me just how naive that [she believed] I was. . . . My only hope was that my impression was left with the children. . . . I filed for divorce since was no longer welcome in my wife's new home that I provided her and her three daughters. –Thought that it was best to lose a battle, so could continue the war.

(In 2018, all permissions were countermanded formally on social media as "The Domestic Marine" made significant progress in the manuscript writing, the book and eBooks serve this purpose also. The Domestic Marine decommissioned in 2018).


Chapter 8 – Back to Florida


 Got an apartment initially in Fort Myers and soon relocated to San Carlos Park.

 Enrolled in Edison Community College again but now it was Edison State College, was anonymous again, for a while anyway!

 While working in the electronics field in Fort Myers and attending Edison State College, learned of the new Sony Technical Response Center in Gateway, Florida and the new Florida Gulf Coast University from an old friend from Edison Community College’s Computer lab days!

 Participated in a work study program between Edison State College and Sony Electronics while at the same time began dual attendance between Edison State College and Florida Gulf Coast University. This was the years 1997-1998. –In 1998 also Beta Tested Windows™ 98 for Microsoft™ Corporation.

 I moved from the classroom at the Sony Technical Response Center after graduation to the call center as a Telephone Technical Support Technician, worked at Sony for a year.

 Earned my Associates of Arts Degree from Edison State College in 2000 and dropped the Business Calculus course at Edison State College for the Scientific and Engineering Calculus course at Florida Gulf Coast University.

 Also took Calculus II and Calculus III at Florida Gulf Coast University, as well as Discrete Mathematics. I was under a Bachelors of Arts Degree Program in Computer Science at Florida Gulf Coast University. In addition, was taking Physics for Scientists and Engineers.

 The women in the financial aid office at Florida Gulf Coast University did not make things easier on me but more difficult.

 The University also decided to discontinue the Bachelors of Arts Computer Science Degree Program while I was already enrolled in the program.

 The women in the Financial Aid Office also decided to send my Financial Aid check back to the issuing bank for whatever reason I still do not know.

 While the foregoing events were occurring, I was attending a Calculus III class and a Physics class.

 Had a tutoring session scheduled with the Physics Professor and while in his office heard someone cry out in the lounge outside of the physics Professor’s office. I went to investigate and as I looked up at the television screen, saw the second plane collide with one of the twin towers in New York City! Needless to say the date was 09-11-2001.

The course of my life was about to change forever!

Until the year 2017.


You can’t change the past but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it define me.”

Let’s begin:


Chapter 9 – Life after 911

In 2000, also married my third wife. Her sister was legally able to perform marriages and they took care of all the details.

After 911, no one could focus on classes. My Physic’s Professor’s brother worked at the twin towers and was at work that day.

There was no way forward for me at Florida Gulf Coast University at this point in time, as much as I was willing to continue; no one else was able. –I withdrew from the University.

The first thing that I did was go to Marines.com and inquire about reenlisting. Thought that maybe they would have changed the enlistment requirements temporarily due to the nature of the event but they insisted that I was too old.

Had inquired about re enlistment in the past, including before deciding to leave Douglasville, Georgia to move back to Florida.

Sent more than one letter to Washington, D.C. while in Georgia and did receive a response from the Pentagon finally that told me to go down to my nearest recruiter’s office.

With no way forward again to continue my education in Fort Myers, Florida, it was actually my wife’s idea to move back to Ohio.

Initially got an apartment in Stow, Ohio and visited Kent State University having obtained all the necessary credits for a Bachelor’s of Arts Degree in Computer Science but lacking only two required courses for the Diploma. One of the courses was the History of Art. Also, some personnel at Kent State University were not eager to assist me.

Kent State University was also not willing to award me a Bachelor’s of Arts Degree in Computer Science even after completing the two remaining classes but were entertaining the idea of a Bachelor’s of Science Degree in Computer Science.

I did not feel that their consideration and approach to my situation were adequate and while speaking with my new VA Vocational Rehabilitation Civilian Counselor that the Veteran’s Administration in Cleveland contracted out for me, he even suggested a private school.

In 2002, enrolled and began attending classes as a full time student at ITT Technical Institute in Strongsville, Ohio, under a Computer Network Systems Program of Study, once again under the VA Vocational Rehabilitation Program but this time with a contracted civilian councilor.

            There was a shopping plaza near our apartment in Stow, Ohio where Kempo Karate was taught. I joined in and after informing the black belt of my military, wrestling and marshal art’s history and told him that nothing comes easily for me, he tossed me a colored belt. His gesture confirmed to me that my approach to the marshal arts was best, not to concern myself with belts, but training.

            My wife’s mother moved in with us in our apartment in Stow, Ohio from the home that she owned in Estero, Florida.
            My wife’s and I relationship began to deteriorate and I was close to graduating from ITT. I was attending college when I met my wife in 1997-1998 and I was attending college at the end of our relationship. Nothing changed from my wife’s perspective!

Got an apartment in North Royalton, Ohio to be closer to ITT and make it easier to focus on my Program of Study. My wife had an opportunity to join me in North Royalton but decided to go with her father to Sandusky, Ohio after her mother returned to Estero, Florida.

In 2004, while living alone in my apartment in North Royalton, sent the proper divorce paperwork to my wife for her to sign. After some time, received the signed paperwork in the mail and went to the courthouse in downtown Cleveland and filed the divorce papers myself. My wife and I appeared before a Judge in Cleveland and proceeded with an uncontested divorce.

In 2005, I graduated from ITT Technical Institute top of my class with Highest Honors and a 4.0 grade point average. The school provided little to no employment opportunity and I formed a Partnership with a classmate of mine at ITT. I opened a Computer Repair and Website Hosting Company in Wellington, Ohio.

The point has to be reemphasized here that no one including the VA knew of the real circumstances of my discharge from the Marine Corps until my decision to make my book writing public knowledge in 2017.

It is important to note that, in a matter of speaking, I have never been permitted to get sick because the VA would contribute every sniffle to my “disability.”

In 2005, after graduating from ITT and some time had past, I began to have considerable pain and discomfort in my lower back and was not able to eat and began to have chest pains as well as a slight difficulty breathing.

I called an ambulance for myself for the first time in my life and when they arrived requested that they take me to a civilian hospital. They pointed out to me that they are required by law to take me to the nearest hospital. They did.

While at the hospital, the only tests that were run were blood pressure and heart rate monitoring.

Explained to a Doctor (Assumed) that had not urinated in several days and he did not think what I was telling was possible. He discounted what I was telling him. A nurse brought me some food because told that hadn't eaten in several days. I could not eat the food that was brought to me.

After some time lying in bed hooked up to heart and blood pressure monitoring equipment and speaking with several Doctors (Assumed) that were trying to solicit work, Some man and some women came in to escort me to the Wade Park VA Hospital in Cleveland, Ohio.

I was told that the hospital had no choice that by law they were required to transfer me to the VA Health Care System.

I spent about a week at Wade Park VA Hospital before released. No medical tests were conducted, only psychiatric testing was performed and was released.

Shortly thereafter had to drive myself back to Wade Park with the same complaints and an MRI was performed this time and a kidney stone was discovered.

The Doctor (Assumed) sent me home with pain medication to pass the stone on my own. Took several days and the pain medication really did not help and never experienced that type of pain before.

Recall my diagnoses when discharged from the Marine Corps:

My diagnosis was a Schizophreniform Disorder with a rating of 100%. Here’s today’s definition of Schizophreniform Disorder:

Schizophreniform Disorder is a mental disorder diagnosed when symptoms of schizophrenia are present for a significant portion of the time within a one-month period, but signs of disruption are not present for the FULL SIX MONTHS required for the diagnosis of schizophrenia.”

Note the requirement for a “diagnosis” of “schizophrenia” (full six months) of observation!

Furthermore, remember:

Had a dispute with one of the Doctors (Assumed) at the VA Outpatient Clinic and soon after was notified that my disability rating was lowered from 100% to 70%. A 30% reduction in disability rating resulted in a 50% reduction in VA compensation.

This Doctor (Assumed) was dabbling with some diagnoses of Bi Polar Disorder but settled on Major Depression.

Since the late 1980’s my Disability Rating was lowered from 100% to 70% and my Diagnosis and Treatment had been for Depression.

Due to my stay at the Wade Park VA Hospital for about a week that turned out later to be the result of an undiscovered kidney stone at the time, I was later “administratively” without any observation at all, not to mention that a full six months of observation is required for a diagnosis of schizophrenia, assigned a diagnosis administratively by the Veterans Administration for the first time since my discharge from the Marine Corps in 1984 of “schizophrenia.” My disability rating in 2005 was once again increased to 100% service connected and made total and permanent by the Veterans Administration. My VA compensation and benefits were adjusted accordingly.

In 2008, once again, lying in my bed in my apartment in Ohio decided to move back to Florida.

Got an apartment in Fort Myers and again opened a computer business.



Copyright © 2017, 2018 Richard Jon Hassey. All Rights Reserved.

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